I'm over 40 and still game with my husband and kids. It's a normal part of our lives, and it's fairly limited when our kids (all 10 and under) are awake.

However, I have seen many, many posts over the years in various mom spaces about husbands and fathers putting gaming before their families. Coming home from work and going straight to the console 5 days a week. Using their paid time off to no life AAA releases while their wives had to use theirs on sick kids. Spending "his" money upgrading the gaming rig while putting the stay at home spouse or lower earner on a such a strict budget she couldn't afford clothes or haircuts. Exploding at their kids for being interrupted during online game sessions in the middle of the afternoon. These are extreme examples, but I've seen them all more than once. If that's the lived experience of the women you are meeting, I can see why you'd get an unenthusiastic response to the hobby.

How do you know if your tip went to the person who did that labor though?

I doubt anyone on the Reddit payroll tells spez the unvarnished truth right now. Musk's employees infamously curate their interactions with him. I read somewhere about one (I want to say working in info-sec for Tesla) who kept an extra monitor with a Matrix style scroll of bullshit because it matched Musk's perception of what a busy person in that field should have up.