I think the joke is that if this bag falls apart, which was supposed to last a lifetime, that it must mean your life is near its end, as though the life of the bag and your own are intertwined.

When Republicans send its people, they’re not sending their best. They’re sending people that have lots of problems, and they’re bringing those problems with us. They’re bringing drugs. They’re bringing crime. They’re rapists. And some, I assume, are good people.

The “queue to connect to the server” is how I read their message.

Murgatroyd, which was the last name of one of the dancers on Dancing With The Stars. To me, it sounds very sci-fi, it makes me think of how Trillian combined her first and last name to make something sound more “space-like” in Hitchhikers Guide.

This is a meme, coming from an old copy/paste bit. Know your meme has a good write up about it.

Albert Einstein Copypasta, also known as “Malice of Absence,” is a fictional account of a philosophical debate on the benevolence of God between a religious-skeptic professor and a student of faith, the latter of whom is revealed to be the world-renowned scientist Albert Einstein. Online, the last line in the story is often referenced in discussion threads and comments to mock hyperbolic statements or tall tales.

If you keep both armadillos in a single case, it looks like you only have the one violin. A classic beginner mistake is to give each their own case.

I was surprised to find out how many people call them coochie boards. I dated a woman who called it that, and the first time she said it, I barely sputtered out “a what board?”

Especially seeing them out of context. I once ran into a newscaster on public transit, and thought they looked somehow different from the rest of us, but couldn’t really place it. At some point later, I had vaguely recognized them as a newscaster on one of the local stations that I didn’t watch, so I still don’t really know who they were.

I think about that same sentiment from this comic too often.

I found someone had posted this on Reddit two years ago. Over there u/Vectrexian had said:

Hell yeah, Sega 32X Metal Head. A janky mess of a game with cool music!

And elaborated:

It’s a clunky mech piloting game for the Sega 32X. The actual gameplay is pretty mediocre, but the music is pretty good (with famed Sonic series composer Jun Senoue on the sound team). One rather “interesting” feature of the game is the character portraits during dialogue, which is where this photo is from. The text was edited for the joke though, that text isn’t in the original game (it’s not even the right font). You can actually change the portraits to anime-style drawings in the options menu but these are funnier, especially when the mouths move.

RIP to those of us that pronounce crayon like “cran”

From Snopes:
An alternative theory holds that the creature's altered appearance in taxidermy form was intentional and/or the result of the taxidermist's expectation that the animal would be viewed only from a particular angle:

When seen from the side the lion actually has quite a ferocious appearance. In this context, the lion’s bizarre tongue and fake teeth make some kind of sense. Even the close-set position of the eyes seems to have been done in order to make them appear furrowed and angry. Perhaps the taxidermist simply focused too much on side-view images when mounting the pelt, or the lion was (somehow) never intended to be seen from more than one angle.

Here’s a picture from the side.