"Live. Laugh. Love." or similar.

Don't put parental controls on it. What do you want to control? Maybe put controls on the website that they can visit, but that goes on the DNS or router. Most kids will go to a mate's house that doesn't have any or as harsh parental controls anyway if they are particularly keen on seeing something that they 'shouldn't'. Parental controls are a fix for parents who can't talk to their kids; they make the parents feel safer but just send the issues underground. Gen X will have been writing code for a while at your child's age. I was. There was no choice if you needed to unlock a game you could've afford. At that time GUIs were a bad overlay over MS-DOS or DR-DOS. You had to know what you were doing to get the best out of it. Your kid will be fine with any distribution of Linux. If your kid is technically inquisitive likely to be good at maths/science, get them installing Arch. If not and they just want to use a browser, install one of the top five popular distributions from distrowatch.com. The Office suite for Linux is called LibreOffice. If you use Chrome as your browser you'll easily tell if your child has been on bad sites because your timeline will be filled with adverts for unsavoury impotence remedies. Enjoy.

PS printers are still bastards in Linux. Happily they're less bastardish in Linux (and Mac, because Linux and iOS use the same printing software) than Windows. If you like your life buy a decent Laser from anyone but HP - my generation bought the last decent HP printers they made.

Cancer is a fairly safe bet; I'm in the western world.

Would the last person out of Reddit please turn off the lights.

Probably Ruby. For some reason .. no, that's a lie .. playing with Exherbo, Gentoo and Funtoo, but mostly Exherbo, made me loathe Python. However, everyone in the data processing arena seems to use it, so I'm bound to have to change my ways eventually! For "Ruby": read "Python".

My days of needing high-speed low level languages are long gone. I learned C on Borland C++ back in 1990 to price derivatives on 386s. Loved it.

If I mess around with any language it's for fun. I intend to commit suicide, when my time is done, by the percussive head trauma that learning Haskell will cause me.

Isn't that an unwritten given by now? If not why not?

Top Hat. It isn't a sex aid, millennials. I know you haven't seen them before.

Hello fellow hairless dude also turning into a monkey. Hair in nostrils, ears (wtaf), eyelids occasionally.

Rishi Sunak and Keir Starma, to name but two.

I think the stats say, about 52% of the population is female, 48% is male.

So 2% of females are male. Oh .. wait ..!