I can't believe I'm saying this, but thank God my country developers are incompetent.
I was greeted with this message:"This app can't be used on a rooted device" And I was prepared to go through hoops to get it to work. you know, fucking safetynet and all. But it turns out that the solution was just enabling zygist on Magisk.
For people who say you should read the contract before agreeing to it. What about the hundreds of thousands? No, millions of people buying new windows laptops every year. Are they presented with any kind of agreement? I don't think so.