I wonder if there's anyone alive right now who would be capable of such a task.

Gardening is gay because of roses. Gardens often contain roses, the Japanese word for rose is bara. Barazoku, meaning the rose tribe was Japan's first gay magazine. The magazine was named so because the rose is a prominent symbol of male homosexuality in Japan. This is because of the Greek myth of King Laius who would have affairs with boys under rose trees. You might argue that gardening is not gay if the garden includes no roses but you would be wrong. Roses grow in soil, the word soil is gay. Therefore any form of gardening is inherently gay.

Show me where I'm wrong

You seem troubled. If you're ever in Amsterdam, let me know and I'll buy you a beer and you can tell me about what's bothering you.

Would he have someone bite off his head?

I'd say an average of two divorced house wives, one assistant school teacher, one confused undergrad and half a random barrista per year.

I'd only care if she was played by Pedro Pascal.

Can I be a house? A house has a title, a well defined role and is transferable

Those people don't exist, we all know that people with severe ADHD walk into the forest at 29 and become trees. Let's go back to pretending ADHD is not a problem for adults.