Why did the dinosaur cross the road? Because they didn't have chickens back then.

I'd love for some enterprising IRS auditor to find out what churches she appeared in, then send each of them an audit notice letter. They've lost their IRS tax exemption.

Old Chemists never die. We just fail to react.

I wonder if the owner is booking a flight to a non-extraditable country or if he's going to go private.

I predict the deceased's executor will have to sue Wells Fargo for their last paycheck. They'll claim they were working the full 4 days since they were found. And entitled to overtime since they're hourly rather than salaried.

Someone should suggest Clarence play a game of solitare. If the Chinese can Manchurian someone, I'm sure Putin's got something similar.

Lovely little utility.

Shut up and take my money.

I wondered when she'd do it.

Although with the state of both Target's near me, there's often stuff out of stock.

• peroxide -- come on. The last time Target didn't have peroxide or rubbing alcohol was during the pandemic lockdown. What their excuse NOW?

• Hershey's Almond Nuggets -- OK. They're popular. So if there's only 1 bag left, you should maybe order more.

• t-shirts in my size -- the men's accessory clothing section was a disaster. I don't know when the last time a sales associate tidied up, but there were underwear sizes all mixed up from different brands (Fruit of the Loom, Hanes, etc.) and quality. I had to buy what I wanted on-line.

It's gotten so that I don't trust either of my Target's to have stuff I buy there on a regular basis.

I hope the insurance carrier that covers this school district sends them a letter saying that their anti-litigation insurance will be cancelled in the coming year. And because they failed to "take steps to decrease bullying", all litigation claims until then will have a $10,000 coverage cap.

This should make enterprising attorneys quite enthusiastic to find students who've been buillied. I'm sure there's at least 1 trans kid out there.

40 years ago at UCLA, I had to do my FORTRAN programs on punch cards submitted through the batch system. The CS/Math department (no CS department then), only offered 1 section in FORTRAN with 40 others in PASCAL. And it was taught by an Engineering professor. Why would a Chemistry major take a computer science class? Remember all those shiny machines CSI uses to do forensic analysis? They came from chem labs.

Didn't hear what she had to say but a friend said is was definitely going to be the basis of SNL's cold open this weekend.