Love the idea! What if instead of stakeholders voting on everything you implemented a "steering committee" style model. Stakeholders meet/organize at some cadence to make larger decisions and decide the direction to "steer" the instance and the smaller decisions made in service of the direction decided by committee are left to the admins (decided/maintained by committee). The committee would have veto power over those decisions.
Just thinking of communication overhead and how the more is decided by committee upfront the less agile you can be.
What makes you think it's willful ignorance over garden-variety ignorance? Being incorrect and thinking you are correct is different from purposefully keeping yourself ignorant.
I have no horse in this race, and willfully being ignorant and spreading disinformation about trans topics willfully is indeed transphobic and warrants aggressive shutdowns, like the comment I'm replying to. But unless I'm missing something I don't see the evidence of bad intent here? It just seemed like a bit of a leap.