It's because people associate colons with butt holes.

I'm willing to swap my house with any of these poor depressed oligarchs that feel obliged to flee the city. It's in a conservative run state if that sweetens the deal.

Lay-z-boy might be worth a look. I don't have a couch but I have several reclining chairs. They've all held up well for 10 years and then some.

This should sound preposterous but we've got diaper don over here threatening to do the same thing to another country so I guess now's the time to move the doomsday clock up another second.

You can't have a civilization without civility.

No. They're extinct.

This is an exciting discovery! 20 light years away is relatively close, but obviously still out of reach for quite a while.

Repugnicans or Retardicans are also accepted.