The article title is literally "Should I Brush My Teeth Before or After Breakfast?" starting with this exact sentence:
"Brushing before you eat breakfast is better for your tooth enamel and overall oral health. However, if you prefer brushing after you eat, wait about 30-60 minutes."
With the first follow-up header: "Why it may be better to brush before breakfast".
Are we not reading the same article or are you trolling me and am I going for that bait..?
I'd say the middle ground of learning from your mistakes and focussing on having less children in the future is perhaps something to consider.
In the meantime you should get enough chairs.