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To be clear, I don't really think my mom is, but this was revealed to me by my sister yesterday.

So, I was having an argument with my sister, there is a family situation and my sister said I was repeating out mom's version. During the argument, she said that our mom was diagnosed schizophrenic as a child, and that she was even locked up (?).

For context. I'm 25. My sister is in her 40s.

Our mom had my sister when she was 17. Our mom is the middle child of a total of 5 sisters. She was born in 1964. She had my sister to a man that I know absolutely nothing about, since she never talked about it. According to my sister, she also never knew who her father was till she was a teenager, when our mom finally agreed to let her meet him once.

When our mom was 20 she meet my dad, who was in his 40s. After that, my sister was raised by our grandparents and my mom pretty much forgot about her. I was born in 1998. All my life I was told that they were married but insisted on not having children until my dad's son died in 1996. But turns out that in reality, they got married a few months after I was born. I know this only because I saw they marriage certificate during the divorce lawsuit.

My sister and I never lived together, since when I was learning to walk, she was starting university in the capital of our country, years later we used to visit her once or twice a year until my sister moved to the US with my nephew and niece.

When I was 8 to 10, my parents had a terrible separation. My dad cheated on my mom and she went crazy and my dad went extremely abusive and violent. I witnessed some of that with my own eyes.

Then, they hated each other so much that couldn't even agree on divorce terms. It took them 15 YEARS to officially divorce (that's when I saw the marriage certificate, because the lawsuit was delivered to be, because they couldn't contact my mom).

Now, to get on topic. My mom is very obviously a narcisistic, since she has the entire criteria. She also made my life hell multiple times.

One of the things she does is having her own version of what is happening, and run with that version, no matter how different it is from reality. Like the many times I rebeled in my early 20s, was because I was doing drugs, got into a cult, got brainwashed, and was having gay sex, according to her. No, I was just having my university partying phase. The only thing she was right about it was me having gay sex, but not the way she was thinking and not with the people she was thinking, I was still closeted. And her concern wasn't me having gay sex, was more like "hanging out with those f***ts who are maybe fucking your ass". She always makes wild assumptions about people, mostly when she don't like them.

During university I was severely depressed and thinking about dropping out, but I found an online university that had my career and I could continue there. I told my mom about it and she went BALLISTIC, assaulting me physically even, and I hit her back, then she restrained me, because she didn't want me to study in an university for "bums and lowlives" according to her. This fight was so bad that I was thinking about killing myself that week, but I didn't. However, years after I dropped out, she asked "Why didn't you find a way to study online" then I remind her of this incident, but she says "that never happened, what are you talking about?".

She also wanted me to graduate from law school to "become her lawyer in her divorce" agaisn't my dad.

She also used to trashtalk my dad A LOT when I was a kid, almost daily. I was constantly told that if I didn't succeed, I would be a bum like my dad (my dad is a successful lawyer).

She has a hard time maintaining friendships, because everybody is "stupid, inefficient, irresponsible" according to her so she gets tired of everyone. I am also irresponsible and inefficient according to her. I'm also super smart or slow according to who she is talking to, if is literally everyone else, I'm super smart and a gifted kid, if she is mad at me, I'm stupid and slow.

I got an autistic diagnostic as an adult, when I asked people on my family, they told me that they knew and told my mom to try get me in a special environment, but she refused to do that and told everyone to not dare talk about my autism.

When I told her about my diagnostic, she said "but you knew your whole life you were asperger" and I was like "NO I DIDN'T, KNOWING SOONER WOULD HAVE HELPED A LOT" She still insists that I knew my whole life.

I suffered many other forms of abuse and I'm still receiving them because I still live with her. But this has been too long already.

I don't think she might be schizophrenic. The ironic thing is that when I had what I now know are "autistic meltdown" she said I was having a schizophrenic psychosis and I should see a therapist (funny because she is very much anti therapy). I have a paternal uncle who IS schizophrenic and has dealt with it his entire life. He is a very hard case.

But yeah, the important thing here is that I don't think she ever had hallucinations, not that I know off, like seeing things, or hearing voices that aren't the usual "were you calling me name?" when I wasn't. Maybe you can give me a but more of perspective. IDK if what my sister said is true, but I hope I can get some perspective. if it is, she might have been diagnosed in the 70s or 80s and mental health wasn't good at all at the time (my country was still doing electroshock until a few years ago).

Sorry for the long text.

TLDR: My sister said my mom is a diagnosed schizophrenic, but I don't think my mom has the signs of being one, tho I'm telling some of my history of abuse from her to know if there is something to analyze from there.

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The series has some perfect black tones and I wonder if it would work on AMOLED screens.

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submitted 2 months ago by vis4valentine@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

Companies had copystriked all the arts and knowledge to hoard it into their now dead servers to get profit from subscription services only, so the only peak at humanity now are blogs, memes, and random posts.

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submitted 2 months ago by vis4valentine@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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submitted 3 months ago by vis4valentine@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml
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submitted 4 months ago by vis4valentine@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

I'll start. System of a Down.

Recently it seems like some people are JUST NOW realizing that Bring me the horizon is not Christian friendly and I wonder how many other artists can we put into the bag of "Wait, they were political this whole time?"

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submitted 4 months ago by vis4valentine@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

Ill start, I never used a check. The only way I can get a house is waiting for my parents to die.

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submitted 5 months ago* (last edited 5 months ago) by vis4valentine@lemmy.ml to c/relationship_advice@lemmy.world

This feeling has stopped me for a while. I already made a post here a few days ago about my feelings about breaking up. I haven't done it yet because I'm waiting will we have at least a session with my psychologist.

The biggest feeling that keeps me doubting is that I may be ending things right before things get better.

I am more than welcomed to live at his house, he knows I'm trans and accepts me, he will be fixing his car, and he will get a new job, so he will be contributing to the finances instead of relying on my money as he has done since the start of our relationship, but I feel like even so I can't continue the relationship.

He had been physically abusive to me, he has confessed to me that yes, he is controlling and codependent, right now he is being sweet and his libido seems to have "come back" right after I told him I would break up with him, but he also told me that he would die without me, so now I'm feeling trap. I don't like it, I don't like feeling trap in a relationship just so he don't get depressed and die. Yes, he can give me some stability, but I still have my home with my mom and I might find that stability elsewhere. I feel like I don't need him anymore to be happy on my own. My feelings are changing, and also I for a long time thought wouldn't be able to find someone else, but a friend has confessed that likes me romantically. I won't cheat on him, they know that and comprehends my situation, but it made me realize I'm not unlovable. I'm also feeling sexy again on my own, in fact, I feel sexier than ever rn.

But I come back to the feelings of "What if I wait a bit and things get better?" while also reminding to myself that I already know what my boyfriend can do when he gets angry at me, just for doing things that I love to do. Even on this "love bombing" phase, he is still so controlling, I changed my phone's lock pin so he couldn't look at it and started interrogating me about it at 4 AM.

Has anyone had a similar feeling?

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submitted 5 months ago by vis4valentine@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

Im looking for some writing inspiration. Im looking for not so known elements of different cultures that would make incredible powers.

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submitted 6 months ago by vis4valentine@lemmy.ml to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

When they say that "they have an army of lawyers" or that Disney has more lawyers than animators and things like that, do they tho? Is an army of lawyers really effective? Do companies actually have an "army" of lawyers to redact and sign documents?

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Not eat anything that casts a shadow.

It's from the Simpsons if you haven't seen it.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 91 points 9 months ago

Illustrations thinkers: CHURCH AND STATE SHOULD BE SEPARATED! French revolutionaries: CHURCH AND STATE SHOULD BE SEPARATED! US founding fathers: CHURCH AND STATE SHOULD BE SEPARATED!

Republicans for some reason: Yeah, I'm pretty sure our founding fathers wanted a theocratic dictatorship **source: trust me bro**

How can they get away with being so historically wrong and doing such a revisionism?

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 75 points 10 months ago

Classic fascist narrative: The enemy is both strong and dangerous, and weak and dumb.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 98 points 11 months ago

MacOS software updates are free. The issue is that suddenly Apple decides your perfectly functioning computer is no longer supported, and after that in a matter of 2 years you will no longer find any new software for your OS, and then you have 3 options:

  • Buy a new computer.
  • Hackintosh it with a dosdude patch to use the latest version of MacOS.
  • Just install GNU/LINUX.
[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 62 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Cis allies usually put pronouns in their bios to show support and normalize the act itself of specifying then online. IRL since you are cis and I asume you look masculine there is no need to specify your pronouns.

Just whenever you meet someone and they tell you to talk to them in a specific way, just do it and respect their pronouns. Its easy. Most people dont care if you get it wrong the first times as long as you acknowledge your mistake and correct yourself, your brain will get used to it and you will not make the mistake later. That's the different between someone who is learning and an idiot purposefully misgendering someone.

BTW if you arent sure about someone elses pronouns, just ask them. Easy.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 81 points 11 months ago

Well, it is not as much as a "non profit fighting human trafficking" as they sell it. It is a tech org that sells facial recognition technology to law enforcement, that doesn't really help saving kids, but rather persecute consensual and voluntary sex workers.

It is what happens when tech Bros want to try and save the world without really listening to the vulnerable people they are trying to "help".

Now his hypocrisy was exposed for defending a convicted rapist because "he was nice to me" no shit Ashton, im sure Epstein was also nice to his friends.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 97 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)
  • A YouTube channel named "Gamers Nexus" made a video criticisms about LTT hardware Review process.
  • Due to having the pressure to make videos as quickly as possible, the quality control of hardware reviews has suffered, even with the Lab they assembled for testing hardware and presenting detailed benchmarks.
  • A startup sent Linux a watercooling prototype to review, but they tried it on a video card it was not designed for, giving bad results.
  • Then the "sold" the prototype apparently without the full approval of the creators.
  • Linus was dismissive at first, but now the company has responded and said will take quality control more seriously.
  • Now an ex employee named Madison came out telling basically that there is a Guy Bros type culture on LTT, where they made inappropriate comments to her, affecting her mental health, overloading her with work because she had the "funny job" of social media managment, and even verbally abused her. Some instances can be considered sexual harassment.
  • The new CEO of LTT said he was "shocked" by these revelations and will hire an external investigator.
[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 84 points 1 year ago

I dont work at weddings, but is a given that the more expensive the wedding is, the shorter the marriage might be.

A big huge expensive wedding is a outbox stress, a vanity display and usually the bride is one of those who want the dream perfect wedding they wanted since she was a child.

Then comes the hyper fixation with aesthetics, that might translate into controlling and micro managing everyone on the wedding party and pushing people away for not matching it.

In the end, nothing about the wedding is about the love, being together, etc. It is just a huge waste of money just for some perfectly curated pictures. The marriage itself is no longer relevant and the couple might not last more than 2 years. Just keep it simple people, or even better, just elope.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 152 points 1 year ago

"Love thy neighbor, unless they're gay, black, immigrant or they think different from you, then harass then and make false allegations and boycott every woke media" - somewhere in the Bible.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 84 points 1 year ago

Classic self report.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 61 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

In my country (Spanish speaking) we say "Fulano de tal" Fulano is kinda like a template name nobody really is named like that. "De tal" really means something like "from somewhere".

We dont out it on the graves, but we use it as slang for situations where we need to refer to someone generic like "imagine a fulano de tal doing xxxxxxxxxxx".

There are other names like Zutano, Mengano, etc.

Edit: My mom sometimes uses "Miguel Perez". Those 2 are very common first and last names.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 268 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

This happens when transphobes forgets that trans men exists lol.

[-] vis4valentine@lemmy.ml 71 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

People use to say that you cant lie with statistics, but is a common practice to use statistics to lie.

We can take the infamous 41% suicide rate for trans people. Transphobes throw that out like a killing move implying that trans people are inherently unhappy and being trans is a mental illness (which is not true).

The reality is that the suicide rate is so high because of transphobia, kids getting thrown out of home, homelessness, unable to find a job, staying at the closet to avoid social consecuences, etc.

Trans people who live in more open and accepting environments are way less likely to be depressed and commit suicide. In progresive areas where trans people are more accepted the suicide rate is nowhere near 41%.

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vis4valentine

joined 4 years ago