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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/CressNo2769 on 2023-10-03 07:28:51.

I (30,f) was working out at the gym, doing lat pull-downs.

This large man, probably about 35, walks over to me, and as I am beginning to pull down on the bar, he pulls out the key holding the weights in place.

I get so startled, I let go. He puts the key back into the weights, one weight lighter than I was doing it, and he says I need to do a lighter weight because that was too heavy for me.

I probably would've knocked myself out with the bar if I hadn't let go when I did. I could've been extremely injured.

I am furious and in shock. I get up and go straight to the front desk. I complain and the girl at the desk is barely listening to me, like the words don't even enter her brain. Her colleague comes out and I tell him, and he's like, "Yeah, sorry."

I ask for a manager, and that guy is just trying to placate me and saying it doesn't matter because if I didn't see that guy before then I probably won't see him again after today.

So, I call the police. The front desk people are in shock. The police come and question the man and don't really do anything either, but I feel like scared the sh-t out of everyone, for better or worse.

I called my friend after, and he starts yelling at me, saying I'm a terrible person for doing that and you can't just call the police in Philly and I've made everything worse for me at the gym because of what I did. And I get it, like, I'm a privileged white woman, asking to speak to the manager, calling the police on someone who didn't commit a crime.

But at the same time, I wouldn't have felt safe going to the gym and seeing that man if I hadn't done something, and I would've been on the hook hundreds of dollars for my gym contract still. At least now he might know better than to mess with me, but I feel like that's something an AH would say.

TLDR; Called the police on a man in the gym for changing my weights in the middle of a rep because the gym management wouldn't do anything

Edit: to clarify, he changed the weights while I was in the middle of lifting and I would've been very injured if I hadn't let go at the exact right second. I could've gotten a concussion or broken my jaw.

Edit 1.5: I DID yell at him, and he had basically no reaction to it and just reiterated he was "helping" me

Edit 2: OK if you think I'm the AH then... what? Just quit the gym and be out $800? Let the guy pull that crap again, but this time I end up passed out with a concussion or broken bone?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/mjg5000 on 2023-10-03 07:06:48.

My wife has a career (that she loves) where she works for a company that is based in our city and travels around the country and the world for approximately 12-18 weeks per year. In addition to those travel weeks, there are approximately 10 weeks per year where she is working in our city nights and weekends for 6 or 7 days per week (usually working all weekend with Monday off). So roughly half of the year she is either gone completely or working night time and weekend hours.

We have one child, and I am the primary breadwinner. Her job earns approximately 40% of what I make and her salary covers daycare costs and then a little bit. When she is out of town for work, I have full responsibility for our child aside from the 8 hours per day that he is in daycare (during which time I have to work).

It has been very hard being responsible for our child when she travels and on so many weekends. I feel like a single parent. My job is demanding, and I usually have to work after putting him down for the night, and barely have time to clean the kitchen / house, etc, on top of my job.

I told her that I could support this career if we only have one child, but that if we have two (which is what we both want), that I don't think she can continue in her career. I just don't see how I can manage two kids for so many mornings - taking them both to school, daycare, events, and evenings and weekends entirely by myself, all while I am working full time.

She called me "weak" and said she does not want to leave her job, but said that she will in order to have a second child. I fear she will quit and then resent me which will lead to bad times for all involved.

AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/let123Z on 2023-10-03 05:38:39.

I have two younger siblings: Jenny 17 and Leo 19. Jenny is pretty, talented, smart, and kind. Leo’s not a bad kid either but he’s not in college and he jokes around a lot.

Anyways, people (mom’s friends) will often compare the two and they keep putting Leo down. He used to brush them off and acted like the comments don’t bother him.

A few weeks ago, Leo was picking Jenny up from school and they got into an accident. It wasn’t Leo’s fault at all but Jenny got more hurt. She’s doing better now while Leo seems to be falling down a hole of self hatred. The accident brought out the worst in our parents and before we knew all the details they were all like “why couldn’t you be more careful” or “you know how precious she is.” They were extremely worried about him as well but he hasn’t been the same since they said that to him.

Mom and dad feel guilty now that it isn’t as tense anymore and keep making an effort to cheer him up but he isn’t giving anything back.

I would be more sympathetic towards them but mom’s still friends with the people who were/are saying terrible things about him. I’m not going to share the worst of it but they have implied that Jenny should’ve been the one who came out “fine”. My mom tells them off but the fact that she’s still willingly inviting them around Jenny and Leo pisses me off.

It was my birthday last week so I was visiting. For some reason, all my mom’s friends were there. Jenny was present and happy. But my brother refused to leave his room and was in bed when I checked on him at around 4pm.

After dinner I made a plate for my brother and was going to go sit with him for a little while but right as I was leaving mom’s friends were like “I can’t believe that kid, Jenny went through so much yet here she is helping out while he’s getting dinner served directly to him. He’s really going to be a loser for the rest of his life,” and they just wouldn’t stop talking about him like he was a waste of space or a mistake.

I told them to get out. They were surprised and my mom told me to calm down but I didn’t stop yelling at these women till all of them left. Some of them were still eating and I didn’t let them them collect their things either. My mom was extremely upset and left to go give them their things and apologize but apparently they’re not talking to her anymore.

They’re also making mean comments about her but I don’t care. She wants me to apologize but I refused and told her it wasn’t my problem. I do feel bad though because mom’s been crying and besides I could’ve gone about the whole thing in another less destructive way. So AITA? I was pretty disrespectful.

Sorry for the choppiness, the word count is kicking my ass.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/WholeBother on 2023-10-03 02:56:30.

We just mkved and I've been working a lot the last few days on renovating the new apartment. During this time I've gotten a few minor injuries, nothing major, just stuff that happens while working. Scrapes, bruises, cuts, etc. After each one when my girlfriend is around, she makes sure to tell me "you should be more careful!" This annoys me, and I've told her, because it's just hindsight that does nothing, and I'd appreciate it more instead if she just asked if I was okay, or literally anything else.

Earlier I was trying to fix a window that came off the frame suddenly, and while forcing it back in, it slammed shut on my fingers. I could hardly think from the pain and half my hand was numb. Then my girlfriend tells me "be more careful next time." And I'll admit, in my state there, I did get mad. I told her that sure, next time I'll be more careful and just let the window drop down onto the street below. That turned into a big argument.

Couple of hours have passed, and she doesn't see my point. She thinks saying that from a place of caring shouldn't annoy me, and I think that telling someone to be more careful after they get hurt comes across as condescending and doesn't help.

Tl;Dr: girlfriend always tells me to be more careful after I hurt myself, and it annoyed me to the point where I snapped.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/strawberryhopp0607 on 2023-10-03 02:59:13.

Me (25f) and my husband (29m) recently took in my little sister (10f) earlier this year. She was living with her grandpa (74m), who has terrible health, in a half abandoned apartment building.

Backstory: My little sister is my half sister; we share the same dad (42m). Her mom (36f) raised my sister till she was 2, and my sister has been with her grandpa ever since. Raising a child never aligned with her mom’s party lifestyle. Her mom is also bipolar, doesn’t take her medication, has outbursts, does other drugs, etc. Our biological dad just got out of prison for DWIs, broke probation, and is now wanted. Her grandma lives out of state and is rarely home with her love for travel.

The problem: It’s been really hard for me ever since we took my sister in. It’s been hard to adjust going from no kids, to a 10yo, plus all the trauma. She can get under my skin, like siblings do, but she’s a good kid. But I am questioning if we should let my sister live with her grandma (50f) after she finally expressed interest in raising her (for the record, her grandma said no the first time). But that decision comes more problems that I’ll come back to.

My feelings: I stopped talking to my dad’s side when I went away for college (2018). They are pretty dysfunctional, struggle with alcoholism, teen pregnancies, etc. However, ever since we took my sister in, I now have to deal with them. This has brought up a lot of trauma for me, tears, fears, and hate. I should also note that they are not a fan of being cut off from her.

My sister’s feelings: What complicates it even more is that my sister doesn’t really understand the dangers. She bounces between wanting to live with us and wanting to go back. When we initially brought her in and away from her grandpa’s bad living situation, her grandma and mom said they couldn’t take care of her. So I stepped in. Now, her grandma said she is willing to take her in. She feels guilty and wants to make it right. We originally said no, but my sister was 100% on board. This of course stirs up sadness and resentment in my heart. I went through a lot to bring her in. But I hate myself for feeling this way. She’s a kid, so she believes the best in people.

Her grandma: Her grandma doesn’t have a place to stay yet and doesn’t have a date to move. She will most likely be with my sister’s mom. Plus, that means being closer to the dysfunctional family.

Ultimately, I’m sad that I’m even questioning letting her grandma take her in. Because in all her years, her grandma has never proven to change. I wish I was stronger to deal with all the trauma, but I’ve never felt more mentally, physically, and emotionally exhausted in my life. I also feel like I’m “giving up” when I said I would give her a better life.

Am I the asshole because I feel like I simply can’t do this anymore? My sister would be thrilled to move in with them, but I feel guilty as an adult letting a child decide.

Sorry — I should also add that we are her legal guardians in the meantime. Her parents signed over their rights after they didn’t take her in the first time. We have to have her in our care for 6 months before we can adopt.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/throwRA295726 on 2023-10-02 23:05:37.

My husband (31M) and I (30F) don’t have kids yet but recently moved into a home with a full kitchen, instead of an apartment. Over the last year we held both thanksgiving and Christmas Eve and invited my and his immediate families. That’s already about 20 people, so cooking is pretty hectic. We do have a few aunts and uncles we would have loved to invite but wanted to start there since it’s a lot of work and keep it small.

My husband’s family is pretty spread out and doesn’t have many traditions, the opposite of mine. If we don’t plan a holiday, it probably won’t happen, and they tend to stay at home and eat takeout or maybe have friends over. Meanwhile, my family is pretty strong on the “holidays are for family” vibe. The people who came from his family were his brother and his wife (SIL) with their kids, and husband’s dad and his partner. However, BIL asked if SIL’s mother could come since she lives with them part time. Trying to be flexible and since she’s part of their immediate family, we said yes of course. They then asked if her sister could come who does have family in the area (not sure why she couldn’t spend it with them). This was a little annoying for us, because we had our own aunts and uncles we would have wanted to invite, but my husband ended up saying yes because he felt cornered.

This happened again for Christmas, but they didn’t ask, they just all showed up. It’s pretty clear now that they just expect both of their in-laws to be invited to everything holiday-related. While they’re both nice, I went through all the trouble to spend time with family, and I felt like I ended up trying to integrate them into our home and talking to them a lot.

I’ve had some chronic pain issues this year and told my husband I’m not up for hosting holidays, but we can do a family party maybe in late November if he’s ok with that. He got pretty upset and said the whole point of a house was to host family. I told him I honestly don’t want to go through all of the work when the invite list keeps growing NOT from our own family (and I have a hunch an additional cousin from SIL’s family will be added this year). He said it’s the holidays and we should be welcoming because that’s the spirit. I’m feeling a little bad and don’t know if I’m being too strict, but am also just still annoyed. My brother doesn’t bring his in-laws, and “one more person” can easily turn into 10 if everyone started doing that. Also, my husband probably wouldn’t be able to do it without me because he doesn’t cook, though he does get everything ready around the house. WIBTA if I didn’t host holidays?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Cheap-Tomato-1351 on 2023-10-02 19:42:17.

I've (36F) been best friends with Sarah (36f) since high school. We always had a good relationship for decades even though we moved to far away cities.

Her husband Aaron (36M) has his own startup company built from scratch and is quite a workaholic. When I quit my job 2 years ago, she offered me a job in her husband's firm where she also works.

One day, she called me crying. Apparently, she had texted a guy months ago then felt guilty and stopped, deleted the texts. Aaron just found out, instantly fired her. put divorce papers and Threatened her with not showing the kids. telling kids their mother cheated if she did not sign the papers.

You know, I was still a good friend to her during all this. I was like, you made a mistake yes, but it doesn't mean you should be homeless. I mean, I hate cheaters but, I get it.. in a way at least. He neglected her way too long. he was her first boyfriend and I get why she might wonder if grass was greener. All good reasons to divorce tho not cheating.

She agreed to most of his demands, and he calmed down.She did some meditation stuff and forgave herself. And She was happy as clam 3 weeks later.

Meanwhile, Aaron, started rethinking the decisions Sarah made for the company. I asked Aaron if I should brace myself for dismissal, since she hired me. He assured me, "we are profesionals, you provide value."

so, I rejected a good paying a job offer. Although Aaron didn't pay me that well, Working remote, and working next room from my baby was important.

2 weeks later he fired me. telling, they were in debt and couldn't afford my salary. He told me, according to law they have 15 days to pay my severence wage and they were going to use it. I wait15 days, no pay. I call my lawyer, "there is no such a law, have to pay the day they fire you". I call Aaron, he tries to gaslight me and says, I didn't say it is the law, I just said we were out of money and requested you to give us some time, I'll just pay half of it next month, other half the month after.

I am bad at confrontation, I made my husband call Aaron. They are not friends but you know, best friends husbands end up spending time together in events... It wasn't that out of box thinking to make him call Aaron to mediate,since they know each other. My Husband wasn't rude, said things like we'll sue you.

Aaron said they made me a favor by hiring me pregnant and allowing me remote. So it was my turn to make a favor for allowing them to pay whenever. Dude I didn't beg for a job, your ex wife came me with an offer!

Right after this call Sarah texted me, saying I shouldn't have allow my husband involved, If I didn't understood anything All I had to do was to ask and Aaron would explain... I texted back, Aaron lied to me multiple times, I do not need his words, I need actions. And It is between me and Aaron, you don't work there anymore, and you are not his wife anymore, so you are the one who shouldn't be involved.

She blocked me everywhere. Mutual friends says I am TAH

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Dry_Understanding17 on 2023-10-03 01:31:41.

I [19m] smoke, but not an excessive amount. 1-2 cigarettes a day, sometimes none, a cigar/cigarillo occasionally, a couple hits of a vape occasionally. It’s a habit I picked up in boarding school, and I’m aware it’s unhealthy, but otherwise I’m pretty healthy: I lift weights 4 times a week, do boxing and Muay Thai 3-4 times a week, do fencing, do cardio regularly and can run a 5-6 minute mile. Point is, I’m reasonably healthy even while smoking.

A friend of a friend always makes snide comments about how it’s incredibly unhealthy to smoke and that I’ll get lung cancer and be in pain, etc. This is irritating, and additionally, it’s ironic given he’s morbidly obese. Given the obvious health risks of that, and given that how he himself says he has no desire to change it, he’s in no place to judge anybody else’s health choices.

Today I excused myself from the dining hall to go smoke, and he said something about how I should have fun dying of cancer. He then laughed snidely. I responded that given he’s morbidly obese and the health risks it provides, he’s in no place to criticize anybody else’s health.

He got angry and called me an AH for commenting on something personal. I think that’s stupid, because that’s exactly what he’s been doing for months. AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Pale_Strike_819 on 2023-10-02 23:46:16.

Hallie, my husband's neice, just turned 11. We were out of town for her birthday. Yesterday we went over to MIL's house for lunch. My husbands siblings and some of their kids were also there, specially for this story Abby, who is 9.

So we brought the gift to give to Hallie. I didn't think it was a big deal. Abby also got a present from us for her birthday a few months ago. They're in the same price range (~$45), so it's not like we gave Abby a pencil for her birthday and Hallie an Xbox.

Right before we left I gave Hallie my car keys and told her to go grab her present from the car. Abby went with her and came back and immediately started whining that she didn't get a present. I explained it was for Hallie's birthday and then Abby went to her parents and started a full on tantrum.

Now Abby's Dad is mad at us and saying we should have given Hallie her present more "discretely" because it's not fair for one kid to get something. Funnily enough my 6 year old nephew understands the concept of a birthday present and is happily sitting on the floor while Hallie shows it to him. My husband and I are saying it's ridiculous to turn this around on us and everything was getting very unnecessarily heated imo. Abby's parents are harping on about "fairness" and then going in on MIL for letting Hallie open the gift and saying she should have been made to wait at least (Hallie's parents weren't there).

AITA?

Edit: Also I forgot to add that because Abby's parents brought Hallie to MIL's house that day they also thought it was more unfair for some reason? Like because they rode together its different because Abby has to sit with it in the car or something? Idk they weren't making a lot of sense

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Hopeful_Regret91194 on 2023-10-02 22:08:52.

I have been with my husband for twenty years. He was only 19 and so we’ve done all our growing up as adults together. For the past few months I have been sleeping in a different room. I can’t seem to move past my trust and intimacy issues. Last year we went through a very bad spot and I finally got up the courage to tell him I wanted a divorce. The begging and promises commenced. I’m sure most of us know how that part goes, I decided to stay and try and work things out. Now fast forward one year exactly and I find a chat thread with him and some woman on fetlife ( he accidentally saved it to his phone the year prior). So while he was begging for me to stay he was chatting with another woman! He says this is just cathartic for him and he would never actualy cheat on me, but I’m torn. He is always accusing me of things I’m not doing and is very jealous.

Also, the reason I went through his phone is because I found out he was lying about going to the strip club. This is disturbing because I don’t care and never have, so why lie?!

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/anon__________user on 2023-10-03 01:55:29.

I (22f) have a friend (23m) who is a a virgin due to what he describes as a religious choice. However, recently he expressed that he doesn't want to wait until marriage anymore and asked me to help him with his account on tinder. I informed him that most people just use tinder for hook ups and that if he wants a meaningful connection he's better off using hinge or bumble. He then brought up that I met my current partner from tinder and we are in a monogamous relationship. Seeing his point, I decided to help.

The first thing I saw on his profile was that he only had one photo. It was a close up selfie with patchy beard hair and no smile. He also wasn't verified and had zero matches. When I asked why, he said he's swiped left on every girl because no one fits his standards. However, when I asked what those standards are, he wasn't able to give an answer. We decided to go through some girls together and I kid you not, he swiped left on some of the most gorgeous 10/10 women I've ever seen in my life.

I then suggested that maybe he's being too picky and he should be open to dating different types of people. He said that he is going to be picky with who he loses his v-card to - a decision that I totally respect.

Here is where I may the TA...he kept going on and on about how it's so hard to find a good girl these days and that no one on tinder meets his standards and he's gonna die a virgin and blah blah blah.

This really started to annoy me because 1) being a virgin all those years was his decision, it's not like he was forced. 2) swiping left on everyone was also his decision.

I can't stand whining, especially when you have no to blame for your situation but yourself. So I responded by saying "with your standards you probably will never lose it"

Yes I acknowledge that people can change their minds, but beggars can't be choosers and his attitude was annoying me. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/acedepress on 2023-10-03 02:14:31.

I am a 57 year old woman and I have been married to my 58 year old husband for 34 years. He is an engineer and I was a stay at home mom. We have always had a good relationship, and I love him very much. We don't argue much, and we have good chemistry together. Several years ago, I started to notice that I didn't want to have sex as often, and I never seemed to be in the mood, even when James initiated.

James started to notice my reluctance, and he asked me repeatedly if anything was wrong and I said no. To be entirely clear, I still love him and I want to stay with him for the rest of my life. The number of times we had sex every month kept going down, eventually we stopped having sex basically at all. So, last week when he got home from work, I set up a very nice dinner for us and I told him that we needed to talk. I told him that I wasn't interested in having sex anymore, and that I wasn't attracted to him anymore. He cried and said everything made sense now. I apologized to him and said that I should have said something earlier, but that I still loved him dearly. I also told him that I didn't feel sexual urges at all anymore, my sex drive is zero. He didn't finish dinner and went to sleep in the guest room. He has been avoiding me the entire week. I thought I'd just give it a few days, and I decided to myself that If he wants to leave my over this that's entirely understandable, and that I'd make it easy and wouldn't fight it.

That leads to today. My adult son, who is very close with my husband, called me today and said that my husband is getting a divorce. He said that my husband will not be speaking to me, and that everything will be done through lawyers and him from now on. My son also said that my husband will be moving out today, and that I should get a hotel room for the night so my husband can get essentials out of the house without me being around. He also said that I was extremely cruel for doing what I did, and that I broke my marriage vows for saying what I did to him. This conversation was shocking and horrifying to me, but I didn't freak out and told my son that I'd do everything he asked. I also said that I want James to be happy. My son said that if I really wanted him to be happy I shouldn't have destroyed our marriage.

He was the breadwinner, and I am currently preparing to get a job to support myself after the divorce. My husband still hasn't spoken to me. This entire time. I honestly regret telling him the truth, and I wonder if I was cruel with the way I handled it. I devastated my life and marriage, and I am still shocked and reeling over it.

My biggest question is if I was an asshole for telling him that I wasn't attracted sexually anymore? Should I have kept it to myself? Should I have done something differently? My youngest son is "on my side" here but my oldest isn't. I don't want to ruin my relationship with my son either but I think it's too late. I don't know what to do. AITA

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/sixofemallcuteaf on 2023-10-03 01:14:55.

I have to go out of town this week so I told my husband he'll need to pick our daughter up from school and drop her off at daycare, then pick all the kids up at the end of the day.

He replied with "it would be nice to be asked, not dictated". Which honestly irritated me.

Why should I have to ask him to pick up his kids? I'm not even going to be in town. The alternative would be literally leaving our daughter at the school and our kids at daycare. There isn't even an option for him to say no to it...

Some extra info that might be helpful is that we own our own company and he's free to come and go from work whenever he needs. He sometimes scrolls instagram for 30 minutes on a "coffee" break. I never, ever, say anything about how he spends his work time.

But today I did. Because when I said why would I need to ask, he said "I have to work you know". So I told him he could take a 15 minute coffee break to pick his daughter up from school instead of scrolling instagram.

He went on to ask me if "I had a bad day" or why do I think I can just dictate to him. And he said I was being an a-hole and couldn't I just have been polite in the first place?

Which it was a text and this is it copied with only the names and location changed.

"Gonna meet PERSON in CITY Wednesday to pick up PERSON you'll need to take DAUGHTER to daycare and maybe take the kids I'll switch vehicles with you after I drop SON off at daycare."

He's convinced I'm the asshole here, tell me Redditors, Am I?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Fluid_Support_7279 on 2023-10-03 00:53:58.

This past weekend there was a 20 year anniversary party for the company my husband works for. My hubs (M 49 and I his wife F 43) attended. That's where I met, we will call her EZ BREEZE (F 26). She proclaimed that she had learned alot from my husband on the job since 2017 and that she often refers to him as a father figure, only she didn't say it that way to me. She said he's my daddy at work. They are friends on FB and from what I can gather she has only friended my husband from work since 2017 since he and I share almost all of our friends including his work friends. Am I the AH for thinking this is inappropriate work behavior? He literally said that the term daddy in this case was used as a term of endearment. Either I'm over reacting, my husband is cheating or he's an absolute idiot. To be fair she did seem genuinely protective of my feelings (but side chick like, even if there isn't anything going on) and she is single which is not a mark against her. I feel like this is my husbands fault more than anything and that is why I laid into him so hard, just utter dissapointment.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/lizgasm on 2023-10-02 22:10:15.

So, first some backstory/context. My son is 7 and his "best friend", who we'll call George, have been friends for four years. They've both been to each others bday parties the last few years. I'm a single mom and my son is my only child so whenever I take him somewhere (skatepark, swimming, the park, the fair, local Waterpark, etc) I always invite George to come so my son has someone other than just me to have fun with. We've also been invited to events at their house as well. We live across the street so the boys are ALWAYS playing together either here or there. They pretty much do everything together.

On to the issue... George's bday is this Thursday so I was expecting to hear about his party soon, last week I even asked him what he wanted, present wise.

Well yesterday my son wanted to go outside and play and ofc went over to ask if George could come outside. George's dad answered the door and said that he wasn't home. Ok, no biggie. My son came back home and decided to do something else for a bit. After a little while I offered to go out front with my son to play since it was so nice outside. When we went out our other neighbors were out too (they have a daughter that my son likes to play with too). So my son asked if she could come out and play. That's when the bomb dropped. Her mom said that she was at George's bday party! And asked why we weren't there... now apparently their daughter, in her mother's words, invited herself to go and George's family said yes. So I thought, 'Well maybe this party was just for family and he'll have another party for his friends to come to'. George has a pretty big family and they've done stuff like that before. So I figured I'd ask George today when I get him and my son from the bus stop.

So today, during our walk I asked George if he was having another party for friends and he said, no. Now according to him my son was supposedly invited. Since hearing that I've checked my phone to see if I missed a text or a call, which I haven't. I checked through our mail/mailbox to see if I missed an invitation, and didn't find anything. I also thought back to yesterday when my son went over to ask if George could come outside and all his dad said was that he wasn't home, deliberately leaving out that the party was about to happen soon, wherever it was taking place.

Now my son's feelings are hurt. Heck, my feelings are hurt. I'm also pretty sure there's no bad blood because earlier today his dad texted me for a favor.

So WIBTA if I asked his family why my son wasn't invited?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/RororonoRowan on 2023-10-02 22:14:33.

I (26M) do not have a great relationship with my Father Tony and Step Mother Alannah (49F) and I am content on letting it stay that way. Tony never wanted to be a father, He was a career military man and a serial cheater.

My Mother Cait (52F) and Tony were very off and on during my childhood and it was always hard seeing him leave for what I thought would be forever. The last time they had gotten back together things seemed fine, until it was revealed that Tony was seeing Alannah the entire break and the entire time they had gotten back together.

Its not like Alannah was unaware that Tony was married and had 2 kids, she knew the entire time and was not only fine with it but encouraged it as well.

It broke my heart seeing him choose her over his family and after it was all revealed she made it evidently clear she wanted nothing to do with my sister Ann (24F) and I, even after many attempts on our end to try to get to know who she was as a person.

Tony had us on weekends in which he would try to buy us extravagant gifts in return for our loyalty and silence whenever he would shit talk our mother to us. If we ever refused he would say that we are "being ungrateful" after everything that he had done for us and would call us "awful spoiled brats"

A year goes by and Tony informs us all that he is currently being deployed to Iraq and would be gone for a whole year. After we talked and were saying our goodbyes Ann storms off upstairs extremely upset, when Tony had called to her for a hug she did not respond. This is when he yells out to her "Your father is going to a war torn country and could very possibly die and you aren't gonna come down and give him a Hug? Wow" and left. For clarification purposes I was 13 and she was 12 during this time.

Tony was never deployed to Iraq at that time, but instead went to Brazil to marry Alannah and invited his entire family, except for his two children. We didn't even find it out from him but from a Facebook post made by my Aunt about the wedding. Cait demanded to know why he lied about the wedding and why Ann and I were excluded from the event entirely. Tony then says that I "sexually harassed Alannah" and that there was proof. Whenever Cait or I would ask Tony for the proof he would say that he did not need to show the evidence since his word should be enough.

We stopped talking for a while then, the first 10 years was no contact but after I turned 22 we spoke on and off until last month. He had called me and asked why I didn't reach out to him more often and after I told him that I was not interested in a one sided relationship again he goes off calling me a fucking asshole for not wanting to fix what i apparently ruined and told me that I needed to fucking apologize to Alannah.

AITA? Should I allow my father back into my life after everything he has done to me and my family? Should I apologize to Alannah about something I never did?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/worldssemiworstboss on 2023-10-02 22:44:46.

I run a small business and most of my staff is great with one major exception.

No matter when she is scheduled she is late. This is a big issue because I'm required to have a certain ratio of staff to stay open.

Today she called me 15 minutes into when her shift was supposed to start and told me she was on her way. The last time she made a similar call she didn't show up for another hour. I asked her if that would be the case this time. She assured me that wasn't the case and showed up 1.5 hours later citing she needed to stop for gas.

But the big source of today's conflict was a cellphone. We have an app we use to post for work and so employees do occasionally need to use their phones during work hours.

This employee, however, has insisted that she can't use this app and it is too difficult for her because she "doesn't understand smart phones" to accommodate this, I'm the one who does all the posting while she's present.

Yet somehow, she's on her phone more than the rest of the staff combined. I've reminded her time and time again that we don't use our phones for personal matters on shift, and there is always an excuse why she needed to do it this time

Things came to a head when she was on her phone instead of paying attention leading to a very preventable accident. Thankfully, the accident was minor, and while my clients were VERY unhappy, I was able to resolve things without major issues. However, things could have easily been MUCH worse.

So we set up a new policy. If phones were used for personal the person using their phone would be sent home as soon as there was enough staff coverage to do so.

Personal calls can be made on breaks, or in the case of emergencies, I'm happy to cover for a few minutes so that they can make/take a call.

Today, I found her not only not where she was supposed to be, but in an entirely different room on the phone.

I reminded her of our policy and told her she would be going home when my other employee arrived in 30 minutes.

She got very upset and said she was only calling to get someone to bring her lunch because she didn't have time to pack it this morning, and that it wasn't fair Because she really needs the hours. I say if she needed the hours that badly she'd be on time to work and follow the phone policy.

Tldr; Sent a chronically on phone employee home for continuing to be on phone. She says I'm being unfair. Aita?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/LateOrchid6054 on 2023-10-02 23:12:00.

I (39F) have a son (20M) with my husband (50M). I married and moved to my husband's country shortly before I had my son.

My marriage was not a happy one. I couldn't leave becasue I would risk loosing custody of my son. When he was 18 I told my husband I wanted a divorce and moved out. My husband refuses to accept it and keeps dragging the divorce on.

Since leaving him my life has been better than it has ever been. I am exploring my bisexuality (I have been out since I was 20 but never explored it), making friends that aren't his and just living my own life.

My son has been distant since I left my husband. At first he kept asking me to attend couples therapy with my husband, when I started dating he was mad and said I was "cheating." I have spoken with him about this many times.

Tonight he came over late unannounced at around 22:30 wanting to talk about an issue with a friend. I had a female friend staying over. My friend got ready to leave so I could be with my son but he got angry and yelled at her for "breaking up a marriage".

I stepped in and firmly told my son I have been separated from his father for 2 years and am divorcing him. He kept getting more angry saying I was "betraying him". I finally had enough and told him if he can't accept me he can leave. He left and my husband is calling my phone yelling at me that I'm a horrible mother.

AITA? I have been trying to talk to him about this for 2 years to no avail.

Edit: My son doesn't want therapy with him or the two of us. In the beginning we did family therapy which I thought would help us move forward. It was just the two of them trying to make me feel guilty for leaving and asking me to give my husband another chance. The therapist put a stop to it and we didn't go back.

I didn't start dating until a year after separating from my husband. When I started dating I let my son know that's what I was doing.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/doghumpsitbed on 2023-10-02 22:46:33.

My wife and I have always generally been on the same page when it comes to sex education for our kids (girl 9, boy 6), but we've just hit a situation that's left me wondering if I am the asshole (or at least an old fashioned prude).

The kids already know about penises and vaginas, but because our puppy has been humoing everything in sight, we ended up having a bit more of a talk about sex itself.

To help us, we had a children's book with (cartoony) illustrations.

When it got to the page about vulvas, my daughter pointed at one and said 'thats what mine looks like, and she and my wife had a little laugh. Again, I'm fine with this. But...

We turn to the penis page, and I know where the conversion is heading, so I turn and look at my wife, in the way we both know means "don't", I even say the word "don't", before my wife says"which one do you think looks like your dad's?". And then the two of them are pointing at the various cartoon penises and laughing "oh I think it looks like this one".

I didn't say anything there and then, but once I was alone with my wife I told her I wasn't happy that she ignored me, especially as we are both big believers in consent and "no means no".

She basically asked, fairly incredulously, what my problem was. I explained, that firstly, I should have to explain myself, no means no, but secondly while it is important for kids to know about penises and vaginas, I felt it both inappropriate and awkward discussing specifically MY penis with my 9 year old daughter.

While my wife, kinda half-heartedly, apologised for ignoring me (she admitted she saw and understood the look I gave her beforehand), she followed up with a comment that I needed to have a hard think and re-evaluate my prudishness and set more appropriate boundaries and not stunt our childrens' development.

To be honest, I don't think not wanting to discuss my penis with my daughter is anywhere close to being prudish, but even if it was, that is no excuse to completely ignore my boundaries. I don't think I'd get away with telling a woman to re-evaluate her prudish boundaries if she complained about me speculating on her genitals.

So, what do you think? Am I the asshole?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Hour-Piano4382 on 2023-10-02 23:08:37.

I (44M) have been with Penelope (39F) for the last 9 years. We each had a daughter prior to getting together. My daughter is Amanda (17F) and hers is Daniella (17F). When my wife and I first moved in together, we both decided that each of us would only discipline our respective daughters.

For the past 5 years, Daniella has been eating a crazy amount of food. She's put on so much weight (200lbs+) that she's borderline obese if not already. I had concerns that she had an eating disorder and suggested to my wife that she put her in therapy because this isn't healthy. However, my wife dismissed my concerns and told me she's a "growing girl" who needs to eat. The problem is she was also taking food that didn't belong to her. For example, I once bought a box of protein bars for myself only to find out later they were all gone before I had a chance to eat even one bar. Amanda's best friend gave her a piece of cake to bring home for her birthday and that also disappeared. We later found out that Daniella had eaten them. The girls had so many fights because Daniella was taking food without asking. It got so bad that I had to get Amanda a mini fridge so that she could keep food for herself in her room.

For the past couple of years, Amanda has been getting interest from boys. Daniella hasn't been getting as much. It's not because she's ugly. She has a pretty face but combined with how unhealthy she is, it's not a surprise she doesn't get asked out often.

Daniella doesn't take it too kindly. She's made a lot of passive aggressive remarks about the boys in her class like how they have "shit taste in women" and "all men are losers". She's made many comments like that. I didn't say anything because I didn't want to encroach on my wife's boundary but I should have.

Anyway, Amanda has had a crush on a boy for a while now and he recently asked her out. I was in the kitchen making a sandwich when she excitedly told me about it and where they were planning to go. I was obviously delighted for her. Daniella was in the living room watching tv. She overhead us and passed a comment "boys will go after any chick who opens their legs". I told her that's not a nice thing to say and asked her to apologize. She replied "I'm not apologizing to this slut". I saw Amanda had tears running down her face. I just got so angry. I yelled at Daniella and said it's none of her business who Amanda dates and the only reason she isn't getting dates is because she's fucking fat.

Daniella burst into tears and went to complain to her mom. That started a big argument and I told her she needs to parent her daughter and tell her to keep her nasty remarks to herself. They ended up going to my MIL's house to spend the night. When I talked to my sister, she said I should have handled the situation more delicately since Daniella is still a child and clearly having self-esteem issues. However, I only said what I did to defend my daughter. So AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Professional-Fix8274 on 2023-10-02 22:40:44.

This is a shorter version because of the 3000 character limit, the full thing is on my profile, it also explains it better.

So I (38M) come from a very conservative family. I knew early on that all that religious stuff wasn’t for me. Eventually I was able to get a scholarship for college and left the state to begin my life free from religion. My parents were very disappointed in me. Eventually they got over it as they were losing me in the progress to get me to become christian again.

My sister (35F) has always been the perfect christian girl. She got married when she was 18 and soon after became pregnant with my nephew who this post is about. Let’s call him Steve.

During college I met my girlfriend. Let’s call her Sarah. Ever since he was 10 years old he has been an absolute dick to her. He always calls her names and makes comments about her weight. Even 7 years later he is still making these comments. Now Sarah isn’t skinny and has always had some trouble with her weight. But she works very hard to get it under control and follows diets and just does her very best. But still Steve is extremely mean to her but only to her face. When I told my family about it, they all wouldn't believe me and told us that we were just being dramatic. Because he always acts like the perfect christian boy in front of my family.

Well it turned out he isn’t such a perfect christian boy. A month ago my sister found him having sex with a guy. When he went down to talk to my sister he told her he was gay. Now my sister and her husband were not okay with this at all. And basically immediately kicked him out. Lucky for him he has a car and he drove to my parents, who wouldn’t take him in too.

I found out about this the next day as my sister called me and told me that she hopes he burns in hell. I was kinda taken aback by this and this was the last thing I was expected to hear first thing in the morning. I told Sarah about this and she immediately suggested that we take him in. I was like absolutely not as he has always been a complete dick to us and while it is very sad that he is being kicked out for something as ridiculous as being gay, we owe him literally nothing.

After our discussion I went to work. When I got back I saw Steve's car in the driveway. I went inside and there he was, talking to Sarah. I immediately demanded an explanation and Sarah said that she texted Steve after I left and told him that he could live with us until he found another place or went to college. I told him to get out of my house. This started a screaming match between me and Sarah. He has never said a kind word about her, called her all kinds of names. I truly couldn’t even believe she would want him to stay with us. But Steve listened to me, he went outside and left.

So AITA for not letting my nephew stay with us after he got kicked out?

Edit: people are saying that Sarah forgave Steve but she has not forgiven him. Her allowing him to stay had nothing to do with forgiveness.

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Affectionate-Job3624 on 2023-10-02 21:07:59.

I’ll keep this really short. My BIL ( my sister’s husband) has a truck. My husband and I were moving some furniture. About a week ago we asked if he could help us or let us borrow the truck to move it. He said sure and I went to pick up the truck yesterday.

I get there and he asked were my husband was, I told him at home since he with a friend moving the stuff to the driveway. I was heading over the truck when he told me he can’t give me the keys. I ask why and he tells me I couldn’t handle it. I asked if he was joking and he just reiterated that I can’t handle the truck.

I told him I didn’t know that I needed a dick to drive a truck and left. I informed my husband on the situation and it has spread. He called me pissed and we got in a big argument, he clearly thinks I am jerk since it is his truck.

My sister is on his side so I am doubting myself. Also I am a good driver and I haven’t had any crashes or tickets

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Least-Culture-9031 on 2023-10-02 21:06:23.

I (f23) have just recently started planning my wedding. For context I moved out when I was 17 after my dad and mum had split up. I haven’t had a relationship with my mum since for different reasons. My dad has been with his partner (f50’s) for the last 3/4 years. A year ago I got engaged, we had told everyone that we had no intentions of getting married straight away due to financial reasons and we wanted to save. My dad a couple of days later said to get price a wedding and he would pay for the wedding breakfast and we could cover the rest.

Since this my dad’s partner has started dictating that my auntie can’t come as she isn’t friends with her anymore and making constant remarks about how she doesn’t want other people coming as it would make my auntie feel comfortable at my wedding. There has also been points that she’s made as if she is my mum, trying to organise to go for dinner with my in laws, wanting to make her child (no relation to me) a flower girl and who I have as bridesmaid.

My dad has also started making remarks every time I see him about how expensive the wedding is and jokes with a tone like ‘your robbing me’ etc. the cost of the wedding hasn’t changed since we priced it. It’s starting to really ruin my wedding planning and making me really nervous about the actual wedding to the point I don’t want my dad to pay for it anymore and would happily cover the cost. AITA for telling my dad’s partner to back off and telling him not to pay for it anymore?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/unclelurry on 2023-10-02 20:55:51.

Me and my mates planned a Casino outing this past Saturday evening. Three of us drove together, the fourth said he’d meet us there. The plan was to meet at 7pm.

The three of us arrive to the Ino a little after 7. Fourth friend is not there, so we get some dinner and start gambling. At around 9:30pm we decide to call it a night (craps table kicked our ass) and go home. Fourth friend still hadn’t arrived when we left.

As we’re driving home, I get a call from Mr. Tardy and he’s yelling his ass off about how he’s at the Casino and we left without him etc. I laugh and tell him tough luck, you were over 2.5 hours late. He is still pissed at me and reading me the riot act all day, calling me a shite friend. Some of our friends have taken his side.

Important to note, this dude is always late. He has zero respect for other’s time. The only reason I might even consider myself being the asshole in this situation is that he did message us before we left asking if we were still there. I did not reply to him. With how late he was, I didn’t think I owed him a response.

So, AITA?

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The original was posted on /r/AmItheAsshole by /u/Merrymary1013 on 2023-10-02 20:11:46.

Last February I (31F) was 8 months pregnant I also had gestational diabetes and I was concerned about fetal macrosomia. One day I am sitting at my computer and a coworker from a different part of the building was bringing her daughter (7ishF) around attempting to sale Girl Scout cookies to people in the building.

I will pause my story here to note our company has a policy against this, but numerous people do it anyways. Most of the people on my floor travel and are rarely in the office. However, my supervisors did not want me going into labor out of town so I was on desk duty. All the cubicles surrounding me were empty. I want to point out that I also would normally buy at least a box because I appreciate hard work but I didn’t want the temptation around being newly diabetic and trying to watch my sugars.

This little girl and her mother, go up and down row upon row of empty cubicles until they finally stumble upon me. Mom looks relieved and asked how many boxes would I like to buy? To which I politely and pleasantly respond politely: “no thank you none for me today” and attempt to turn back to typing because I thought that would be the end of it, but instead the mom replied with come on you’re pregnant you at least want one box. Which I once again politely but a bit more firmly say: I will pass this time, please check with me again next year.

Then the mom responds with come on just buy one box. At this point I’m starting to get flustered because how many times can I say no to a sweet little girl and not feel like a jerk. So I look at mom and tell her I. said. no. But she still won’t leave me alone and ask why not? Why can’t you just buy a box? I didn’t want to get into my medical information with mom or a seven-year-old nor did I feel it was any of their business, so I bluntly and firmly said (but I didn’t yell) I don’t have to justify myself to you. I don’t want cookies. Now leave me alone. I then turn back to my typing and refused to acknowledge their presence anymore.

Mom said wow and storms off with her daughter. She proceeded to tell other coworkers what happened and she got in trouble for bringing her daughter up to sell cookies. A third of my office thinks I’m a jerk for not buying cookies, a third thinks I’m a jerk for getting her in trouble, and a third think she’s in the wrong).

Edit to add: from what I gather mom’s perspective is in the past (like most of my colleagues) I have always bought a box, or popcorn, cookie dough, discount card, etc from any child that stops by. She felt like her daughter was singled out for some reason.

Edit 2: I didn’t think of donation as an option. If I’m ever in a similar situation again, or if I could go back in time, I would’ve donated some money to her and told her to keep the box.