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It is a hilarious joke, but please don't rationalize replacing stuff when it is still working. Buy quality goods and maintain them properly, repair when needed.
A good coffee machine should last at least decades ❤️.
Again, depending on usage. How about you give it as a more useful metric. Servings and sit-time. Those determine how long your machine lasts.
And well if we're talking a simple drip-coffee machine, they're 10€, you're not going to maintain or repair them no matter how much someone else might think you ought to, you'll just get a new one. A 2000€-5000€ automated two-bean-tank coffee maker is a wholly different thing, of course.
I would at least try to maintain it, just for fun. Put some music on and crack it open.
Oh yeah that's kinda my vibe, too. I'd just want to know how it looks inside, anyways.
I will say from experience that if anybody here owns a Melitta Smart TS, as amazing as that machine is for the 620€ I paid for it considering it keeps up with the 2k Siemens machine, you do need to unscrew the metal plate behind the brewing unit and hold your gag reflex if you never did that before, they made a mistake with the large opening above it and ground coffee can fall in and will slowly get moist and rot in there. Luckily nowhere near the brewing actually, but such a weird blunder to do with an otherwise well-designed machine. I was wondering where that smell came from...
I expect my v-60 to last the rest of my life, or at least until I drop it on something hard enough to break it.
No machine needed to go from no coffee to coffee and cleaned up ik 5 minutes.
My electric keg broke after about 7 years 🥹 Trying to decide between buying a reliable one or a second hand one. Or both?
I know the electric kettle might be a bit faster depending on your appliance, but a decent stovetop gooseneck kettle for pour overs did wonders for my coffee game. Better coffee, won't ever break, cheaper than all but the worst electric kettles.
Get a nice little scale and you'll be set for life.
Do you know how many times I've forgotten I put some water on for heating? Sometimes 3 times in a row? My life depends on the automatic shut off 🥹
You can get gooseneck electric kettles as well.
A good e61 based espresso machine should last forever as every part is replaceable and readily available. Something like the gaggia classic. Granted, they aren't 30 bucks, but they are cheaper than any expensive bean to cup machine.
Gaggia classic isn't an e61 though, it just happens to have 58mm grouphead. Nonetheless, I would recommend a Gaggia or a rancilio Silvia over an actual e61, since those are both more expensive and more difficult to maintain (and heat up more quickly).
Honestly, real endgame is anything lever based in my opinion anyway. But that's just my preference.
Levers can be the ultimate for long lasting as virtually zero parts to wear out especially the ones that require you to heat up the water yourself, but I would struggle to recommend one to someone coming from a bean to cup due to the difficultly factor. My first espresso was a Flair, having to get the temp, speed, and pressure consistent every time for every shot at 6am in the morning was a complete PITA on top of getting the grind, temp, and weight right for that shot. I soon switched to an E61 as its just push button in comparison.
Long term I want a lever like the Strietman CT2 but not till I get a Decent for everyday use.
I'll call it an Italian/French stove top coffee maker, but they will last 100 years. Espresso quality.
I prefer cheap filter coffeemakers for saving on coffee and energy. More expensive than above but more convenient and still cheap even if 10 year purchases not bothering to replace a broken part.
Moka is to espresso as french press is to drip, they just not the same. Nothing wrong with them, but its a false equivalence. If you prefer moka then drink it, if you prefer espresso then drink that instead.
What if I'm too poor to afford a quality coffee maker
Then I believe a v60 might work best for you? I think a plastic v60 cost around 9$, and they can last decently long.
Something like a v60 or an aeropress saves a lot of money in the short term. But you lose out in the long term by increasing your standards for coffee and basically falling down a coffee rabbit hole.
I bought an aeropress 10 years ago to save money...
Signed, someone currently in the market for a 4 figure espresso machine.
But whatever you can afford from a second hand store.
Saves on money, prevents waste. Win/win
Buy coffee filters and rubber bands. Put coffee in the filter, tie it up with a rubber band, and then make coffee like you make tea.
Well, automats only if they're really good.