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submitted 2 days ago* (last edited 1 day ago) by dinklesplein@hexbear.net to c/news@hexbear.net
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[-] ComradeMonotreme@hexbear.net 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

I think it's more the tendency of abusers to find language and culture to hide in, from religion to (pseudo) science, liberal Feminism, therapy speak etc.

There's actually a dom gap because of the amount of effort that goes into being a good active partner in bdsm. It's like being a DM playing out a scenario or situation.

But I'm also happy if we shut down all cishet maledoms until we fix this patriarchy situation.

[-] Philosoraptor@hexbear.net 6 points 17 hours ago

There's actually a dom gap because of the amount of effort that goes into being a good active partner in bdsm. It's like being a DM playing out a scenario or situation.

My wife was a professional dom in another life before we met, and she talks about this a lot. People think it's just easy because all you have to do is treat the sub like a servant, but it's (according to her) really hard to do well. Coming up with a scene that's safe, respectful, and fun for everyone involved is work, and people who don't know what they're doing (or don't care about anything beyond their own satisfaction) can really fuck things up.

[-] someone@hexbear.net 5 points 20 hours ago

There's actually a dom gap because of the amount of effort that goes into being a good active partner in bdsm.

Absolutely right. It's one of the reasons I have to vet potential sub partners carefully. I'm very tired of doing all the planning work only to have someone flake at the last minute. I'm long done with casual hookups. Especially the "discreet" crowd.

It's like being a DM playing out a scenario or situation.

Oh my god it totally is, I never thought about it that way.

[-] ComradeMonotreme@hexbear.net 2 points 9 hours ago

And you don't even need to change the name! Dungeon master/mistress

[-] PolandIsAStateOfMind@lemmygrad.ml 2 points 2 hours ago

Huh, just week ago one of my friends told me the joke:

What BDSM and D&D have in common? Never enough dungeon masters.

I think he wanted to suggest something to me but i'm long past playing D&D and he won't make me go back. I also told him he's a filthy revisionist because no way i'm getting into weird theory combinations like Bakunin-Deng-Stalin-Mao syncretism.

[-] someone@hexbear.net 4 points 9 hours ago

Whoa, let's not get carried away! I don't want friends and family to know I'm into any of that weird stuff. I can't imagine trying to look any of them in the eye when they know all about how I'm into that depraved passtime, keeping tight control of others in a dark room late at night, making them bend to my will.

I'm fine with them knowing about my kinky sex life though.

this post was submitted on 14 Jan 2025
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