Just to be clear, i'm not saying "don't say dude", the term in itself is perfectly fine. Just saying it's not unusual at all that trans people find it not to be gender neutral and particularly that the response in that case shouldn't be to start an argument where you assert a right to label trans people in ways that have clearly and already hurt them. It's the latter that made me go from "oof, that person should edit this post" to "scratch a liberal and a fascist bleeds".