We have joint custody. Daughter lives with each of us for 2 weeks at a time.
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Okay, most people here talking about "is it legal, is it gross, is the ex a cunt, all of the above".
I'd just like to point out that regardless of all of that, since there is legally nothing you can do, the best you can do is support your daughter. Don't engage with the toxic ex. Just let your daughter know that you're not happy about it but that you respect her and support her no matter what. And behave accordingly, don't get mad at her, show her your kindest side.
What your ex is doing feels like manipulation to distance her from you, in addition to rage bait you. Don't fall for that.
Yeah, if (more like when) things go south for the daughter, he's going to want her to feel safe and supported enough to call him. If she feels pushed away she might not reach out for help when she needs it, which is the worst case scenario.
This is a good levelheaded response. I'll also add I have 2 relatives who had similar age differences in dating. One ended in flames like most relationships do for 17 year olds (and honestly that whole relationship stunk of trouble from a mile away) but the other they're still together almost 20 years later as she's turning 35 and he's approaching 65 (they're at a similar emotional maturity level, and honestly could grow more as people in order to live more fulfilling lives but I digress)
Give your daughter the support she needs. Let her know you're there for her and will catch her when she falls and maybe it'll work out, maybe it won't.