What are some tips for acting straight? (redlemmy.com)

submitted 3 months ago by stinky@redlemmy.com to c/asklemmy@lemmy.world

72 comments fedilink hide all child comments

For LGBTQ+ folks who want to blend in, what tips or advice can you give?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] Felling_High_Horses@endlesstalk.org 0 points 3 months ago

"Yeah so for this unmeasurable and ephemeral thing that I myself just called 'fleeting' you should totally act non-het and potentially put yourself in mortal danger because I, an internet stranger, said so."

[-] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 0 points 3 months ago

no one is obligated to follow my advice. OP wanted advice, and my advice from lived experience of over 20 years of masking is that it isn't worth it.

[-] Felling_High_Horses@endlesstalk.org 1 points 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago)

There's something in data science that you learn at the very beginning, which is that you can't observe the counterfactual.

That means you can't base your data on the possibility of what would have happened had you chosen differently.

What you're doing is assuming that your (and other people's) lives would have been better had they been open about their sexuality.

I don't know where you live, but there is no country with a 0% chance of being assaulted/discriminated against for being LGBT+.

So your assumption that things would have been better is a misguided nostalgia at best, fallaciously wrong at worst.

Edit: gotta love the Reddit brainless downvote bandwagon that's going on. Nice hive mind.

[-] Auli@lemmy.ca 0 points 3 months ago

What's masking it though. I mean most people don't talk about their sexuality.

[-] rockSlayer@lemmy.world 1 points 3 months ago

I'm ace, and have hidden it from partners. Needless to say it's destroyed relationships.

[-] Soulg@sh.itjust.works 1 points 3 months ago

I get your point is that you've learned not to do it, but yeah that idea is terrible from start to finish. I'm sorry you had to go through it either way

this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2025

27 points (76.5% liked)

Ask Lemmy

31368 readers

3029 users here now

A Fediverse community for open-ended, thought provoking questions

Rules: (interactive)

1) Be nice and; have fun

Doxxing, trolling, sealioning, racism, and toxicity are not welcomed in AskLemmy. Remember what your mother said: if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all. In addition, the site-wide Lemmy.world terms of service also apply here. Please familiarize yourself with them

2) All posts must end with a '?'

This is sort of like Jeopardy. Please phrase all post titles in the form of a proper question ending with ?

3) No spam

Please do not flood the community with nonsense. Actual suspected spammers will be banned on site. No astroturfing.

4) NSFW is okay, within reason

Just remember to tag posts with either a content warning or a [NSFW] tag. Overtly sexual posts are not allowed, please direct them to either !asklemmyafterdark@lemmy.world or !asklemmynsfw@lemmynsfw.com. NSFW comments should be restricted to posts tagged [NSFW].

5) This is not a support community.

It is not a place for 'how do I?', type questions. If you have any questions regarding the site itself or would like to report a community, please direct them to Lemmy.world Support or email info@lemmy.world. For other questions check our partnered communities list, or use the search function.

6) No US Politics.

Please don't post about current US Politics. If you need to do this, try !politicaldiscussion@lemmy.world or !askusa@discuss.online

Reminder: The terms of service apply here too.