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This straight up happened in my family too
(lemmy.world)
Have an aunt who has only ever lived with women. I was always told it was her roommate. Everyone refers to her as a roommate. They BOUGHT THE HOUSE TOGETHER. Have dogs together. Raise the other ones kids together.
When I was like 17, and openly gay, I straight up asked my grandmother if her sister was a lesbian. She said no they're just roommates and got super specific about it. I asked my aunt a couple weeks later when I saw her and she went "Well, yeah. Do I not wear enough flannel?"
This is basically my aunt, although she hasn't realized she's a lesbian yet.
I have some neighbors who are in their later years, they are both AFAB. They fly a pride flag. After I got to know them better, L spoke up and said A is her husband. A says yeah I consider myself a man. I said so you're trans then. She (yeah still goes by she/her) got a funny look on her face and said no of course not, I'm a lesbian.