You care about stealth when defending your country because stealth is how you win air to air combat now.

Dogfighting is as meaningful to modern air combat as the horse and lance are to modern ground combat. Fighter planes work like submarines now; the goal is to detect and kill the enemy before they can detect and kill you. Kills happen from outside of visual range.

A defensive aircraft without advanced stealth can be shot and killed by an aggressor before they ever have the ability to target that aggressor.

To put it another way, do you think that our soldiers only wear camouflage when they're planning a sneak attack? Do our troops wear hazard vests and strap road flares to their helmets when they're defending a location to make sure the enemy knows exactly where they are? Or is it, in fact, always beneficial to see your enemy before they see you?