He carves a statue so dope that it topples the communist government where everyone is miserable and poor.

I remember he doesn’t feel like working so someone else has to do his work for him or something.

There’s a vaguely Asian bad guy whose army is defeated by a naked chick dumping ground-up glass from her galloping horse.

There’s some kind of gross monster called a gar that has flies or something in the first book.

I think someone has sex with a sword in a bathtub in the first book.

The naked chick gets badly hurt in battle and is nursed back to health by her bf leaving a glass of water too far away for her to reach.

I stopped reading as a teenager on the pillars of creation because even the author was getting bored and he introduced a bunch of new characters.