One step further, even. Women take responsibility for their own emotions, and filling their own needs. So if they feel lonely, they create community, in friends. What I hear, when I hear "loneliness epidemic in men" is men expecting women to tend to or serve their emotions and they aren't capable of tending to their own emotions. Like a little baby, I don't know any woman who wants to be responsible for their partners emotions, AND their own. Because it's not like these men are going to be looking after the womens emotions, the same.

It's emotional immaturity. Borderline, sometimes actual emotional abuse. You are supposed to be responsible for filling your own needs, as an adult. I feel like men have just never stopped and noticed all that women do (or ended up being socialised or forced to do).

I just watched a tik tok that talked about women being called irrational for worrying if everything is together at the holidays, they do everything. Then if they're walking out the door and worrying if everyone has everything, the husband says "you worry too much, everything will be fine". Everything is fine, because she's planned and prepared for every contingency, and it's entirely overlooked, it's unseen, unacknowledged work.

And I can't help but see the link between what has been baseline accepted / perceived as what women "do" or "women's responsibilities" in relationships for men, predominantly all the house work, holiday planning, knowing stock levels and needs, kids / friends / family birthdays and needs, doctors appointments, clothing.... I can't understand how that became a basic expectation that one person in the partnership do all of that, and then, women are disengaging from relationships with men, and instead of looking at the environment they created for women, that they wanted to no longer be engaged in that, they doubled down and shouted about how it's a strangers (all women's?) job to fix their feelings, while they roll around wailing on the floor (I imagine).

Ultimately men have been conditioned to not appreciate or see what women do, and to feel like their "manliness" is tied to how much they subjugate another person. And ultimately both of those social dynamics serve capitalism and are predominantly strong in extreme evangelical religions. It makes the rich richer if men are emotionally immature and taught to oppress women. Then women provide free labour to capitalism, emotional support, children and home. If capitalism had to make space for or compensate the work women do, raising children, it would go broke, overnight. It's not that providing the next generation is a worthless task, it's that the division of wealth is being hoarded by a handful of people and they violently don't want to let go of that.

If someone gets Knickers in a knot, because they know one woman or one man who isn't like that, you missed my point and that doesn't detract from my point, I'm not saying if they all don't do this, it doesn't hold water, obviously lots are disengaging, currently. Some in a healthy way, some not. I just find all this stuff fascinating to talk about, and the fact it's hidden from you, you have to piece it together yourself. We're all being collectively manipulated, on a societal level to, essentially, funnel money to a handful of people. It blows my mind how deep it goes. This whole nuclear family, is relatively new. It's against our nature and our grain. And it's very much not working.