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What immediately makes you lose respect for someone?
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this post was submitted on 19 Aug 2023
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being rude in general
being a stickler for timekeeping
liking dogs but not cats
salting food at a restaurant without tasting it first — though I guess this fits under "rudeness"
To be clear, these are all "lose some respect", not "lose all respect.
I have ended budding relationships because they had no respect for timekeeping. I have shit to do, a schedule to keep and sever ADHD that needs me to schedule out my day to function and people who refused to care about that are selfish. Please respect other people's time.
I respect other people's time and schedules. But if people can't respect mine, or their own, then that lowers my esteem.
I'm not talking about "you kept me waiting" people –after all, keeping others waiting is rude– I'm talking about the "if you're not early, you're late" people.
You should have said that then cause I read your original comment and thought you were defending people who are 30 minutes late to shit. I've met people who defend things like that too. So it seemed very plausible.
My boss now understands that I will come in five minutes past the hour most days, because that's when the train gets me there. It's that or leave much earlier to get there only a little earlier. There's nothing special about being there "on the hour" and I stay until all the work's done. Most of the time, there isn't even anything for me to do in those five minutes, of the ten after. He doesn't consider this being late and neither do I, because we share expectations.
A previous boss expected me to be there at noon to open the bar by one. Opening the bar took me twenty minutes, so I started coming in at 12:30. When he complained, I asked him if he wanted to pay me for another half-hour to stand around. He saw sense.
A third boss would camp out at six am just to write me up for coming in five minutes past the hour. Again, while we are not open and there was nothing for me to do but be there. And again, to get there beforehand, I would've had to get on a bus a full hour earlier. I explained this, but he was new to his job and saw this as an affront to his authority or something. I was eventually fired over it, just a week before he himself was fired for inappropriate conduct.
That is the kind of behavior I'm talking about. Worship of the clock to the exclusion of sense.