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I am becoming a Fed
(hexbear.net)
By which I mean I got a job offer from the post office and if everything works out I will be a federal government employee 
so hopefully I'll actually be doing something for money instead of wrapping burritos 3 hours a week and being yelled at if I perform any part of the burrito process with any deviance from corporate policy
It's a great position and has long term stability!
I work for NYS, and am confident in being paid enough to survive anything that comes up.