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Anon shops for a new rug (sh.itjust.works)
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[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 21 points 6 days ago

Exactly. Move in slowly, wipe your feet, wind down your umbrella and give it a shake before putting it into the stand. Take off your coat and hang it on the hook. Stare at yourself in the hallway mirror with existential dread. Begin to hum the opening theme to Everybody was Kung-fu Fighting, and then finally cartwheel onto the sofa, let out a tension fart, and then remember that the house is on fire! At which point you exit immediately and spray the front of the house with a foam fire extinguisher until you feel relaxed enough to fall asleep in the driveway

[-] Panamalt@sh.itjust.works 7 points 6 days ago

This sounds like an awful lot of effort, can't we just chill on the cartwheel sofa and let the house burn? This is fine, surely

[-] klemptor@startrek.website 4 points 6 days ago

We don't need no water, let the motherfucker burn

[-] tetris11@lemmy.ml 3 points 6 days ago

Well, if the house doesn't mind.... and you're not bothered by gaining the odd garden shed or two, then sure why not?

[-] Panamalt@sh.itjust.works 2 points 6 days ago

I'll get the house's consent, don't worry

[-] lessthanluigi@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 6 days ago

Well that took a turn

this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
408 points (98.3% liked)

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