I think I understand a bit of what you're saying, in that the woman is reacting to what she experiences as a systematic, societal power imbalance / feels that she lives in an oppressive environment. So, a violent response from her is not viewed in the same way as a violent act from a man towards a woman, which more typically would be assumed to be in a context where he is exercising power/dominance/abusing her.

Thank you for your well-composed response. This is definitely something I'll keep thinking about.