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submitted 4 weeks ago* (last edited 4 weeks ago) by LifeInMultipleChoice@lemmy.dbzer0.com to c/general@lemmy.world

When you try to ignore someone because they are being an ass while drunk, and try to sleep on the couch, and they yell at you to get in bed, then they bash you in the back of the head with their phone while you are laying their facing the other direction, they say, "call the cops, they'll arrest you". Is it true. Could be. Im back on the couch and under control but man could I use someone to talk to. Im so tired of being abused and treated like shit. I know I don't deserve this shit, but fuck does it hurt and I won't let myself yell. I won't allow myself to fall to that level. If they want to be that way, that's them. But I need to be better. Yes, I know I'm dumb. 35 years dumb lol

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[-] kikutwo@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago

Get to planning the divorce. Sorry.

Thankfully not married just engaged, but definitely glad in that aspect I guess. She's normally kind, but she just has a switch that flips and nothing stands in her way of being terrible after that.

[-] Rhynoplaz@lemmy.world 10 points 4 weeks ago

Please promise me you won't go through with that marriage. I wasted 15 years being married to someone I want compatible with because I was afraid. Of what? I don't know, because everything has been MUCH better since I got out.

It's a whole lot easier if you never make it legal.

Thanks for the advice, I'll try to do you a favor and ping you in 6 months and let you know I followed through

[-] kikutwo@lemmy.world 6 points 4 weeks ago

I mean she's an alcoholic. Up to you in the end.

Do me a favor, meet me back here in a year and I can promise you I'll be more than a year sober. I am not drinking right now, and I definitely will not touch anything after this for a while to ensure I never say something stupid. I don't smoke weed, and I quit smoking cigarettes in November. I was vaping to help me avoid them, but I'll drop that as well. Im 35, I don't need it.

[-] kikutwo@lemmy.world 2 points 4 weeks ago

I was just pointing out her behavior not yours. But doing what you describe should make it easier to see her more clearly. Obviously she's going to get apoplectic if you break it off. Good luck. I've been divorced twice and there's life after.

I understand. Just trying to make sure I keep myself out of any situation that I could logically avoid. Sorry if that came across wrong mate

[-] Hideakikarate@sh.itjust.works 3 points 4 weeks ago

My step father was (is) an alcoholic. Perfectly pleasant in public/sober, but a terror while drinking. Big man, could kill a 30 pack of Busch mostly in one night. Never physically abusive to my mother or her kids, but verbally, it never ended. Took my mother way too long to divorce him.

I say this because the good times don't overwrite the bad. I've heard that drinking didn't change people, it just reveals who they really are. Just keep yourself safe.

this post was submitted on 06 May 2025
36 points (100.0% liked)

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