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this post was submitted on 15 May 2025
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Asklemmy
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I dissociate and fawn pretty much constantly in most social situations. I do not feel in control. What most people know me as is a bunch of trauma responses. I feel like I'm watching myself have conversations and making "decisions" from another room.
It took me a long time to admit this to myself.
Stop having social situations by staying in the basement. All better!
I have this too, I have some friends that I can be myself with and some other people that my trauma response just kicks in and I become non confrontational people pleaser. Im starting to notice it more and trying to not do it.
Do you manage to better "stand your ground" now that you're aware of the fawning ?
Only really just started to notice I'm doing it constantly. Not much luck or strategy so far
Well that's certainly a good first step. I'd like to encourage you to consider yourself first, and every feeling you have as valid. YMMV but this is what helps me counter the otherwise instinctive fawning.
holy shit, u put it better than i could, this is exactly what i have been grappling with lately and i have no idea how to fix it
If I understand correctly, fawning is people pleasing to an excess because you're afraid of the potential response. I've had trouble saying "no" for a long ass time, and have been bending over backwards to accomodate other people, at my expense, completely disregarding my own comfort and preferences. I think that's part of the same mechanic. I slowly realized other people mostly place their own needs first, and somehow find themselves legitimate when asking the other party to "meet them halfway". So I've been trying to emulate this. Does this ring a bell to you ?