Hello.
So last week I went to a school reunion for the 20th anniversary of my hometown school. I'm not the kind of person who enjoy this kind of social events, but for this time I made an exception.
My old friend from that time asked me to go and I thought I would be funny (spoiler alert: it wasn't funny).
After the event and speeches, all my classmates and I went to a restaurant. I sat in front of a girl that I had a bit of a crush on when I was a kid. During the dinner I was mostly in silence, they were talking about gossips, old memories, relationships, comparisons... At some point she talked about a boyfriend she had. She said that she cheated on him like 10 or 20 times, she didn't know the exact number.
The thing is... She was laughing about it, and so the others. "I told him I cheated on him, I don't know how many times.." She said, like nothing happened.
My ex girlfriend told me that she also cheated on his fiancée some time before the wedding. She always said that infidelities are always there, like it is normal... But is it? I've been thinking about it for some time now, because I know some other cases. But I don't understand... There is no sense of morality ot loyalty or empathy?
There's been a decent amount of discussion online that when you are already in a relationship, you've been "vetted" so to speak. Obviously bullshit, as what your current partner may find acceptable can have jack to do with what anyone else finds acceptable. Also, if you have a break up, somehow you're no longer vetted because clearly you have some problems if you had a break up.
It's all pretty/petty bullshit but it's definitely a thing. Even my clueless ass has noticed it. Women are more comfortable around me now that I'm obviously taken (wedding ring). Not that they weren't before, but diving into deep/private conversation stuff at a far faster rate. Like I pride myself on being trustworthy and a good listener, but you gotta chill.
That increased comfort also includes more comfortable to make passes at me. No thanks, wife and I aren't looking for a third.