How do I politely turn down a teenage girl? (lemm.ee)

submitted 2 days ago by poisonapple@lemm.ee to c/asklemmy@lemmy.ml

48 comments fedilink hide all child comments

(Yes, I’m aware of these bait-y titles.)

Anyway, I’m 23 years old. I live in my house with my wife. We have many teens in the neighborhood, which is good for my sister-in-law but one of them took a particular liking to me.

The girl and I just casually started talking when I would go for walks, for example. She then started acting really weird, like giggly or flushed. She told me she was bi but preferred women. I’m a lesbian.

Eventually, she confessed that she had feelings for me, though she knew I couldn’t return them. She has also told her friend (19F) that we are dating, when I told her this was not the case and I was married.

I am married and do not like this fourteen-year-old girl. How do I be respectful about not returning her feelings even if she knows I’m married?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[-] shaggyb@lemmy.world 50 points 1 day ago

In this order:

Tell other adults you trust about the situation. Your wife. Her parents if possible. More than one other person.
Explain to her in very clear terms that you can't have that kind of relationship. It's not about what anybody feels, it's about what is possible.
At the FIRST sign of any type of revenge seeking behavior, that's when you consider the authorities and rely on backup from the adults you spoke to.

She very well might listen to you, process the rejection for what it is, and move on. Or she might flip out and cause you a mess. If she handles it well, she's learned something and you've treated a growing human with respect. If she doesn't, your ass is covered.

[-] vfreire85@lemmy.ml 8 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

i'd say that it would be the case of turning her down with her parents present as in some sort of intervention.

also, speak to her firmly, avoiding second interpretations, that the two of you cannot be involved in any way, and if she continues her behaviour she will face legal consequences. time to learn that if you f*ck around, you'll find out.

this post was submitted on 20 May 2025

99 points (84.6% liked)

Asklemmy

48118 readers

655 users here now

A loosely moderated place to ask open-ended questions

Search asklemmy 🔍

If your post meets the following criteria, it's welcome here!

Open-ended question
Not offensive: at this point, we do not have the bandwidth to moderate overtly political discussions. Assume best intent and be excellent to each other.
Not regarding using or support for Lemmy: context, see the list of support communities and tools for finding communities below
Not ad nauseam inducing: please make sure it is a question that would be new to most members
An actual topic of discussion

Looking for support?

Looking for a community?

Lemmyverse: community search
sub.rehab: maps old subreddits to fediverse options, marks official as such
!lemmy411@lemmy.ca: a community for finding communities

~Icon~ ~by~ ~@Double_A@discuss.tchncs.de~

founded 6 years ago

MODERATORS