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Suffer in fabulousness
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 23 May 2025
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Produce Blame - shift responsibility onto an adjacent player.
Beacon of Hose - keep any bards in range from doing the deed.
Flesh to Store - morbid way to buy and sell goods, far away from civilization.
Tiny Hat - purely cosmetic, but so worth it.
Mage Sand - sha-sha-sha!
Tree Strife - an off-color joke that will get you cancelled by the ents. Eventually.
Punburst - a barrage televisable jokes which might still get you killed.
Arcane Lick - you're lucky restraining orders haven't been invented yet.
Tire Shield - surprisingly effective.
Fund Steed - they're fucking expensive!
Revilify - shift responsibility onto any past target of Produce Blame.
Fare Storm - lawful neutral highway robbery.
Blank - counterspell for a scroll.
Knick - does minimal damage, but it really hurts!
Mass Peal - deafen nearby enemies with a cacophony of bells.
Bending - it's just Move Earth, but you get to pretend you know karate.
Spore the Dying - cordyceps infection technically is not necromancy.
Cull Lightning - increases rendering efficiency.
Dispel Gold - really pisses off the munchkins.
Wall of Firs - like Wall of Stone, but biodegradable.
Counterspill - put any liquid back into its container. Potions included.
Some new ones:
Lending - the real way to make gold.
Dust - makes everything a little cleaner.
Lust - makes everything a lot dirtier.
Bare - put that back on.
Lightning Lute - lets bards play Dragonforce.
Lightning Lube - lets bards do other things.
Massage - see above.
Child Touch - why don't you have a seat over there.
Fire Colt - impractical to ride, but looks badass.
Fine Bolt - produces some excellent cloth.
Sopping Sting - material component: towel.
Cause Tear - material component: onion.
Thundercrap - makes everything a lot dirtier.
Compelled Duet - the bard ropes you into a musical.
Defect Magic - counterspell, but funnier.
Dog Cloud - oh gods, who fed him cheese?
Inflict Sounds - I cast tinnitus!
Wild Canning - preserves food.
Arr Bubble - everyone in range talks like a pirate.
Zine Of Truth - mimeographed to fight the man!
Animate Lead - it's just a gun.
Speak With Deaf - need your hands free.
Wall of Wafer - ineffective, but delicious.
Egg Whip - stiff peaks!
Heath Ward - man, fuck that guy.
Magic Bar - goes well with Tending.
Glyph of Carding - let's see some ID, "halfling."
Wine Walk - after hitting the Magic Bar.
Soul Cafe - much more relaxing.
Wash - finally, everything is clean.
Arcane Dye - for when you don't want to worry about mixing your whites with your reds.
Healing Ward - blocks all heal effects on the target.
Heap Metal - for when you don't feel like paying a hireling to collect the gear of that bandit camp you just slaughtered.
Antilife Spell - wait, I guess that's just Power Word Kill...
Burning Lands - when Fireball just isn't Fireball-y enough for you.
Chromatic Orc - summons an orc ally. A different color each time you cast the spell.
Control Hater - a more powerful version of Command that only works on things that are currently hostile to you.
Fire Stork - that wizard must have really hated storks. Incinerates the nearest stork.
Fig Cloud - an alternative to Hero's Feast for vegan parties.
Glyph of Barding - acts as armor for your horses.
Prismatic Ball - hold on, I've been notified this was just a mistranslation of Chromatic Orb. Never mind.
Rope Brick - this is what you get when you let the Barbarian make spells.
Sheep - conjures a sheep.
Stonespin - does what it says on the tin.
Runbeam - force the target to move their full speed every turn.
Rime Stop - I was kicked from a table after bringing this into a Rime of the Frostmaiden campaign.
Wash - why would you spend a 9th level spell on Prestidigitation?
Oh man, that would be so useful. Oil spills, railcars, spilled milk, the possibilities are endless