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this post was submitted on 01 Jun 2025
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Mildly Infuriating
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A good 20% of the appeal in actually dating women is getting to use their forbidden female bath products every once in a while when your 11 in 1 manboy all purpose body scrub, shampoo, conditioner, lubricant, fuel oil, anti seize, weed killer, bug repellent, fire starter, persevative, and paint stripper runs out.
As a guy with long hair, I've learned to just roll my eyes at the gendering of hair products. The all in one shit is made with the assumption that it's being used on short hair that'll be chopped off in a few months max, so it doesn't need to preserve anything. Long hair has to last years.
Same. To be fair it's an easy choice for me, why would I want to smell like some nebulous XXXFUEL, SPORTS PISS, or MOUNTAIN JUNK when I could smell like a bakery instead? Apple and cinnamon poo and condish? Yes please. Vanilla leave-in? Give!
That's all well and fine but do you really choose to abbreviate shampoo as "poo"?
This is fair. It’s a fairly common term in certain circles (which I’ll keep intentionally vague as to let your minds delight and/or reel in horror at the possibilities) so I didn’t give it much thought.
I may or may not have found that women hugged me longer and smelled my hair if I used something the smelled good. I also used conditioner with my long hair and had many women running their fingers through it.
It was nice. Short hair is so much easier, though.
Ha, yes. I just learned this a couple weeks ago and about thirty years too late. My past self couldve looked a lot better.
Im a man but almost exclusively buy "women's" soap and shampoo. It smells better to me and it's absolute horse shit that this stuff is gendered in the first place.
I was forced to use my mother's vanilla smelling Shampoo. I smelled like a woman at work.
You guys don't get it. Those products smell like that to appeal to women. If anyone even notices you smell like a woman, the obvious inference is that you have a girlfriend. Or at least spent the night with a woman. If it's dilute enough to not really be noticeable, women will just find it appealing. Vanilla in particular is non-gendered, what you smelled like was a cookie!
That is good I suppose. But not in this country.
Guess you'll have to bring fresh-baked cookies to work then, for cover. And also sharing. Pro tip: make them large, then break a few in half, depending on the gender splits in your workplace. Women who would like a cookie but feel guilty because of norms about dieting will happily take a half. Or maybe break off a quarter. But they won't break one if none are already broken. Most men will enjoy taking a whole one because diet norms don't apply to them. A few people will enjoy virtuously refusing them because vegan or keto or something. Nobody will notice you smell like vanilla.
If you're not a baker, or you have a friend with celiac, Rice Krispy Bars also have vanilla and are gluten free.
Did it make you want to slob a knob?
Mike Birbiglia has a really funny bit about this. Calling the shampoo, body wash, tooth paste, "sham-paste". Of course watch his comedy special as my comment won't do it justice. I think of it everytime I'm in the bath aisle at a store.
Forgot gunpowder and charcoal. Exfoliates the skin.