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I had a neighbour who embalmed his own wife.
(lemmy.world)
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You don't know that, you most likely pushed it down and covered it up, because that's what people with trauma do. That's not processing it. The scary part isn't what you can imagine / see causing the problems, it's what you can't imagine.
But at the end of the day it's your life, do what you want
I devinetively didnt suppressed it. I did in fact thought quite a lot about it and also talked about it with people. The process of me processing that time also wasn't something that was a week or so, but it did in fact took quite some time.
"People" doesn't mean a mental health proffessional. But again, you do you.