He was a hot mess of manipulative and sociopathic fucker with a bad temper that I somehow "fell in love with" and treated me like garbage for the most part of 5 years without me even realising it until the end and there are still times when I think "thank fuck he broke up".

Small bits and pieces of how he treated me:

1. He thought I was ungrateful for being allergic to the valentines chocolates he bought me once. Never bought me anything ever again.

2. He was violent to inanimate objects that just happened to be in the way. Never knew if it was going to be me one day.

3. Constantly gaslighted me by playing stupid and "not knowing" where things went in the kitchen and purposefully hid things when he unloaded the dishwasher. He did this when I was almost apathetic with depression and barely could shower. But I made an effort to make dinner for him after work. Took two hours to make food because nothing was where it was supposed to.

4. Constantly lied about everything. Where he was, what he was doing and who he was doing it with. I found this out a few months before he broke it off.

5. Manipulated my feelings. If he had done something and I was sad then 5 minute's later it was all my fault and he was sad and needed comfort.

6. Always said I was too good for him so that I would give him recognition. That was the only recognition that mattered.

7. Constantly complained about me not doing any chores and that I should start to pull my weight even though I did most chores, had crippling depression and had a job.

8. He went off for work for 5 days. I came down with the worst flu I've ever had on day 1. Was still sick when he came back. He went off on me for being lazy and only laying on the couch all week.

9. He planned our breakup for more than half a year, didn't tell me, saved up for an apartment and then sat me down with a pizza saying "My best friend thought I should tell you. But it's September tomorrow. I'm moving out before Christmas". He then went to OUR friends and my only friends in town and cried because he broke up with me while I had to be by myself. When he could've gone to his best childhood friend who lived a couple of blocks away.

That was just a small part of it all.

Only a few days ago me and my current partner had a disagreement and he reacted normally and I was so worried that he was going to react violently but it never came. So I had to tell him that it was comforting that he reacts reasonable and not being violent or try to manipulate my feelings. He then wondered what shit partner I've been with before.