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Self Improvement
A community which focusses on improving yourself. This can be in many different ways - from improving physical health or appearance, to improving mental health, creating better habits, overcoming addictions, etc.
While material circumstances beyond our control do govern much of our daily lives, people do have agency and choices to make, whether that is as "simple" as disciplining yourself to not doomscroll, to as complex as recreating yourself to have many different hobbies and habits.
This is not a place where all we do is talk about improving "productivity" (in a workplace context) and similar terms and harmful lifestyles like "grindset". Self-improvement here is intended to make you a generally better and happier person, as well as a better communist, and any other roles you may have in your life.
Rules and guidelines:
- Posts should be about self-improvement. This is obviously a wide category, and can range from advice, to finding resources, to self-posts about needing to improve in a certain area, or how you have improved, and many other things.
- Use content warnings when discussing difficult subjects.
- Do not make medical decisions solely because of a discussion you have had with any person here (e.g. whether to take or not take medications; diagnoses; etc.) as we do not vet people. All medical problems should be discussed with a real-life medical professional.
- Do not post harmful advice here. If this is seen, then please report it and we shall remove it. If you are unsure about whether it's precisely harmful advice or not but feel uneasy about it, please report it anyway.
- Do not insult other users and their lifestyles or their habits (unless they ask, I suppose). This is a place for self-improvement. Critique and discussion about a course of action is encouraged over shit-flinging. Don't talk down to people.
I've continued to maintain my 400+ day streak of going on a half hour walk every day, which has really served as the foundation from which I've built my other improvements on. My personal care and hygiene is undeniably the best that it's ever been, and unlike before it's driven by my desire to take care of myself and to keep my momentum going rather than the fear of being judged by others. I won't go into excruciating detail, since it's ultimately pretty mundane stuff that I think most (neurotypical) people are able to do without a second thought, but the main revelation for me was simply cutting out any opportunities for me to get distracted in the transitions between tasks. This involved rearranging my routine to make things flow more naturally into each other, doing prep work to reduce friction (e.g. laying out clothes the night before and making sure all devices are charged), and avoiding opportunities for me to get on my phone.
While I am now totally locked in on my morning routine and there's not much I'd change about it, I'm still struggling to follow through with my longer term goals^[Japanese is a notable exception—I've been really putting in the time and consistent effort with my flashcards and I've already started seeing the benefits in my comprehension] and I end up frittering away most of my free time. I think I'm going to try keeping a daily time diary to keep track of how I'm actually spending my time, since that has helped me stay more focused when I tried it before (it's really humbling to see in black-and-white that you spent three hours straight on random YouTube videos or whatever). Should probably ratchet my app timers back down as well.
On the social front, there's been some very minor progress, but in relative terms it's still something to celebrate. I reached out to a friend who I had been dodging for nearly two months—it was basically just a quick functional reply to something, but it lifted a huge weight off of my shoulders. Trying to keep my goals very modest...honestly, just sending a meme or a song or something once a week would be immense progress. I tend to get wrapped up in sending the perfect message, then not sending anything, then anxiety builds up because, well, if I'm breaking months of silence I'd better have something amazing to say!
Also trying to get better about replying to people on Hexbear...sorry if you're reading this and I've ghosted you before. Believe it or not, I used to be much, much worse, but that's still not an excuse to be rude. Talking to people is scary, and I've gone so long without regular social contact that I think I've fooled myself into thinking I don't need it and can just run at the first sign of trouble. But deep down I know I want to connect with people even if it means I will inevitably hurt people and be hurt. The hardest part is not self-sabotaging by letting my inaction do the hurting and immediately torpedoing any progress.
One thing that isn't yet a major concern but is worth keeping an eye on is my calorie intake. I am a tiny person and (daily walks aside) quite sedentary, so I've become accustomed to just eating two meals—a light breakfast and a heavier dinner + dessert. For the longest time I completely cut out snacks, but lately they've been creeping back in and I've even been having (gasp) lunch, and I think my waistline may be starting to show it (to be clear, it might be a couple of pounds). I've never struggled with weight in either direction, and I'd like to keep it that way. My roommate and I usually share most of our food, but I may talk with them about artificially having them claim the snacks and possibly even storing them in a separate location so as not to tempt me. Honestly, though, I think a big part of it is simply eating out of boredom to get a quick hit of dopamine. If I work more on my long-term projects and social goals, I suspect that the mindless grazing will abate.
So, concrete actions I'd like to take over the coming week:
If you like snacking, maybe it would be easier to replace them with healthy snacks instead of cutting back. For example, I like to eat fruit salads. My favourite is a banana+pear+peach combo with some lemon, honey and cinnamon. Good luck with your goals!