Just once I want to see Republicans help the poor out of sheer hatred. Like "I hate the poor so go damn much! I hate how they're always complaining about 'Wahhh my grandma is dying of canceerrrr' or 'Wahhhh I have to walk 20 miles to get to school because I can't afford a carrr!' . Infact I hate them so much that I'm going to educate them, I'm going to pay them more, I'm going to give them cheap public transport, and I'm going to ensure they're never poor again! That'll show the bastards!"

Just absolute venom towards those less fortunate, with a side-order of high quality public services and high living standards, as opposed to pretending to care about the poor and then never actually doing anything useful.