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Might help also to describe what you think feminism is, since it's one of those terms that is overloaded.

I once had a physical therapist tell me she wasn't a feminist because she thought women couldn't be as physically capable as men when serving as soldiers, and seemed to believe feminism requires treating women exactly like men.

I told her I was a feminist because I believe in equal rights for men and women, an idea she did not seem so opposed to.

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[-] brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com 9 points 2 days ago

I think I'm more egalitarian. But this is largely dependent on what you mean by feminism.

I believe all women should have total agency over themselves. I believe they deserve equal pay, treatment, and rights. I believe them when they discuss their issues and the prevalence of sexual assault and abuse.

I also believe that there are structures in our society that unfairly put them above men. For instance, in child care and criminal sentencing. Women tend to get the benefit of doubt that they are the better parent and that the relationship between a child and a mother is generally more important than that of a child and father. Women also, in general, get lighter sentences for the same crime.

I believe that we should be more equal in the value we place on the relationship between a child and it's father. Raising the importance of how we as a society view that relationship rather than bringing down the importance of the mothers relationship.

I also believe we should lighten the sentences of men to be more in line with women's sentencing. Although that largely falls in line with my personal opinion that criminal sentencing in this country is far, far too harsh.

[-] dandelion@lemmy.blahaj.zone 2 points 1 day ago

Women tend to get the benefit of doubt that they are the better parent and that the relationship between a child and a mother is generally more important than that of a child and father.

ironically I would give this as an example of patriarchy, as precisely the kind of thing feminism aims to eliminate ...

Raising the importance of how we as a society view that relationship rather than bringing down the importance of the mothers relationship.

I think the feminist approach might be to stop thinking of children as primarily the responsibility of mothers, that both parents should be responsible and engaged, such that the courts wouldn't assume the mother is "the parent", while the father is more like a "provider" (that's the patriarchal setup - women don't earn, they stay home and serve as housekeepers and caretakers without pay or economic autonomy, under the control of the patriarch of the family who earns & controls the money).

Although that largely falls in line with my personal opinion that criminal sentencing in this country is far, far too harsh.

if you are talking about the U.S., there is a huge discussion about prison abolitionism, but I think there is significant overlap between various social justice movements, and contemporary feminism has been focused on recognizing how interconnected these struggles are (we can't just narrowly consider "women", as that often leads to only considering the experiences and rights of cis, middle and upper class, white, and able-bodied women).

[-] brygphilomena@lemmy.dbzer0.com 2 points 1 day ago

This directly brings up the question of what is feminism and the various waves it's gone through.

I would consider the abolition of a "patriarchy" separate from feminism. I think there are various criticisms of that notion and it's rather cultural centric viewpoint. Raising women doesn't have to come at the notion that men must be brought down. I don't consider egalitarianism to be a zero sum game.

If your definition of feminism includes the dismantling of patriarchy, I don't think I'm entirely convinced patriarchy isn't a mislabeling of the underlying systemic issues in our society. And I don't particularly like the implied core issue being men are holding women back.

Society as a whole has radically changed with regards to how women are viewed and their role in this social construct, even with the current political climate and the unfortunate direction it's turned. The feminist movement has found incredible ground and made significant headway, and I'm incredibly impressed and overjoyed to see it.

I still see a lot of change that needs to happen for us to really reach equal footing. But I may not share the same idea of what the root cause of that inequality is.

As for the discussion of other social justice movements, my underlying beliefs remain the same. Raise the lowest among us, provide the same opportunities and social support, and treat everyone with respect.

this post was submitted on 14 Aug 2025
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