People are unique and everyone has varying opinions on every topic, so how can they be simplified to a simple yes or no. There is a spectrum for everything. People who are at extremes find it easy to fit in yes or no categories but everyone else feels lost.

For example, there can be a guy in a rural area who supports his family's women by letting them go to school/college, working, dating who they want but he is very adamant that they should not dress and wear makeup like "whores". Would you call him a feminist? Why or why not?

it's probably good for social shame to be introduced for sexism, fascism, racism, etc

Yikes, this is a hard no. People don’t change their views like this. Also, you are being a bully if you shame people for anything. Just because you think you have a moral high ground does not make it okay to impose it on others. You are no different than religious evangelicals if you do.