267
should i feel embrassed?
(lemmy.world)
you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments
view the rest of the comments
this post was submitted on 13 Aug 2025
267 points (96.8% liked)
No Stupid Questions
43169 readers
78 users here now
No such thing. Ask away!
!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.
The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:
Rules (interactive)
Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.
All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.
Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.
Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.
Rule 3- Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here.
Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.
Rule 4- No self promotion or upvote-farming of any kind.
That's it.
Rule 5- No baiting or sealioning or promoting an agenda.
Questions which, instead of being of an innocuous nature, are specifically intended (based on reports and in the opinion of our crack moderation team) to bait users into ideological wars on charged political topics will be removed and the authors warned - or banned - depending on severity.
Rule 6- Regarding META posts and joke questions.
Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.
On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.
If you post a serious question on friday and are looking only for legitimate answers, then please include the [Serious] tag on your post. Irrelevant replies will then be removed by moderators.
Rule 7- You can't intentionally annoy, mock, or harass other members.
If you intentionally annoy, mock, harass, or discriminate against any individual member, you will be removed.
Likewise, if you are a member, sympathiser or a resemblant of a movement that is known to largely hate, mock, discriminate against, and/or want to take lives of a group of people, and you were provably vocal about your hate, then you will be banned on sight.
Rule 8- All comments should try to stay relevant to their parent content.
Rule 9- Reposts from other platforms are not allowed.
Let everyone have their own content.
Rule 10- Majority of bots aren't allowed to participate here. This includes using AI responses and summaries.
Credits
Our breathtaking icon was bestowed upon us by @Cevilia!
The greatest banner of all time: by @TheOneWithTheHair!
founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
My biggest problems here are the phrases "no objections" and "evolve".
"No objections" is unhealthily controlling. You absolutely can object, and it's gross that he seems to think you can't.
"Evolve" makes it sound like people who don't go on dates are somehow not as human as the rest of society, and are not doing what they're "supposed" to be doing. I don't like that either. It strikes me as being in the same vein as how you're "supposed" to be heterosexual, and get married, and have children. Because that's what "normal" humans do.
If those two phrases weren't in the response, I'd find the situation weird, but not overall objectionable.
It's your dad's attitude toward you that feels wrong, not the date itself.
fair points. I kind of like them just because of the context that the kid has been complaining about being single. I feel like I did that one time before I realized that people don't give you other people to date. or if they do, that's actually weird. but I think being told to evolve was even gentler than the language that was used to communicate to me that I needed to grow and be a person who anyone would want to be alone with (let alone date).
Maybe not the best word choices. But I don't think they're problems without knowing more about their relationship. Sometimes parenting you have to be hard and direct. You don't always give choices, now I know they are 22 and that makes it a little weird. But parenting doesn't exactly stop when someone turns 18.
And "evolve" wouldn't have been so strange if it were replaced with "grow". It sounds more like "push yourself out of your comfort zone."
As a father of sons who are nearly undatable, I would like to offer some thought.
The father here is probably worried for his sons future and happiness. He didn't set up a date for no reason.
His choice of words are not awesome, but I understand being exhausted by ones progeny. Without an understanding of the relationship, making a judgement is a wild shot in the dark.
If OP wants to bail out of the date, they will. I would qualify this as weird but so is eating sushi, it is still good though.
Well maybe not. The “no objections” is just him setting him up to give it a shot and not wussing out. And the “evolve”… not sure about you guys but I’m significantly different than I was at 22….
I’m not super fond of the phrasing either but I think his heart is in the right place.
While I understand your point, I think it's unwise to read too much into the language very close people may use. I have forever called my wife "Gorda" which is "Chubby" in English even thought she is not and has never been chubby, it's a nickname she loves.
Same with my son and daughter, we have all sorts of pet names and inside joke language which won't be understood by anyone outside of our circle without explanation.
Ultimately, language is no different from physical contact... I rough house my grown kid to show him love (and probably to see if I still have it hahahaha) but I'd never dare do that at work (very on the nose example, but you get my point I hope)