When opportunity presents itself, say yes

Go on the date, have fun, spend dad's money. When he asks, tell him it was great and she spent all night pegging you in the arse and her side dude joined in. Then ask him for more money so you can do drugs together.

You can always not go. You are an adult and don't have to do everything your parents say.

On the flip side, you could always give it a go.

I would be mad, but, I'd also say go. Honestly when I was about 19, my mom more or less did this, in short she spent weeks talking up a hair dresser friend at church, commented that she played D&D, Eventually arranged for me to join her, and get a hair cut.

I talked with her, didn't really go anywhere, From my understanding the girl afterwards kind of responded to my mom something along the lines of "I know you are hoping I'd be your son's future wife but that's not where I am in life right now", and all the embarassment went on my mom for that.

So yeah, if you ask me, give it a shot, if it sucks, you've got solid standing to tell your dad not to do that shit again, if it's good, maybe something good can come from it.

I mean it's a bit odd, but fuck it man it's a date. You go out and have fun. If you're not into it you pull the plug after 15 min.

Honesty we all need a kick in the ass sometimes to go out and do shit.

I don't know your relationship with your dad, but if you two are on good terms and trust each other than this is actually kinda cool.

Have fun and enjoy.

Where did he find her though? Is he pretending to be you on dating apps?

I’m 54 and I’ve realized you can meet people in the weirdest places sometimes. She might be a very nice girl. Worst case scenario is you have a bad blind date. If he keeps doing it it might be a problem but humor him at least once.

Maybe the circumstances on how that date came to be aren't ideal and you should talk about that with your dad. But I think you should still go on that date and gather some experience. Don't see it is something potentially romantic, but as a chance to find a new friend. That will go a long way in terms of socializing and normalizing hanging out with women. And who knows who you might meet through her?

Chad dad tbh

yeah embarrassed for your dad. "evolve" wtf. this is too little context, but this can range from your dad genuinely caring about you("complain you're unable to find girls") but the execution isn't great, to just wanting to push you into doing certain things. This definitely requires a conversation with your dad about boundaries.

On another note, if you are trying to find people to date, you should figure why things aren't working there, and see how you can improve your chances ( are you well kept? are you comfortable talking to new people? do you expose yourself to new people in order to both meet new people and also practice talking to new people? )

Should have asked first.

If I was single I wouldn't have really minded if my parents set me up. But I would have liked full transparency that they were going to.

I feel like his heart is kind of in the right place but the execution is slightly wrong.

Although honestly, just go for it and let him would be my advice

It's a dick move but the woman seemed to have agreed on her part so she doesn't find it embarrassing. And don't take it out on her if there is a date. Maybe the date is awkward, maybe it's fun. No harm there at least.

No reason to feel embarrassed here. I would be a little mad/annoyed, your dad seems like he can be a dick. It's a nice gesture but he didn't say it in a nice way. Sure, you could just not go, but I would recommend going. Even if it doesn't work out it's an opportunity to get more comfortable talking to a woman, which is something I've definitely struggled with. I'll be watching for an update!

I agree with the other comments, go out on the date. Dad says your complaining that you can't find a girl to go out with, why are you worried that he's found someone? Afraid they are some horrid person with a crappy personality and a face like a bowl of Spaghetti? Imagine how she is feeling. Now you have something to talk about.

My biggest problems here are the phrases "no objections" and "evolve".

• "No objections" is unhealthily controlling. You absolutely can object, and it's gross that he seems to think you can't.

• "Evolve" makes it sound like people who don't go on dates are somehow not as human as the rest of society, and are not doing what they're "supposed" to be doing. I don't like that either. It strikes me as being in the same vein as how you're "supposed" to be heterosexual, and get married, and have children. Because that's what "normal" humans do.

If those two phrases weren't in the response, I'd find the situation weird, but not overall objectionable.

It's your dad's attitude toward you that feels wrong, not the date itself.

OP are you going to go?

If so please update us on how it went etc. I'd at least want to know what she looks like, being attracted to someone is important

Did your dad just pimp you out?

Honestly your dad is doing you a favor. Probably going to be awkward but it might get you out of your slump to go on a shitty date and see that it's not so bad. Or you might hit it off and it will be good. I think you should go. Worst case scenario you have a bad date and a good story out of it.

You? No. It's not something you did.

Personally I find this fucked up. Especially the way it's written, but I can't expect anything else from someone who sets up dates for others without their permission.
This is not the same as buying you some snacks that were on sale, but seems to be taken as lightly from him.

I imagine the comments here would be quite different if you were a woman.

If you feel comfortable with it, then go ahead. But keep in mind you don't know how it's arranged on the other side, and the other party may not. Well, just the usual "be nice".

It's a little weird from your dad tbh, but you could try to see if it'll be fun. Remember: you miss 100% of the shots you don't take

Hahahaha. It's just a date mate, why not go for it?

Its more typical to be introduced to partners through social media or friends than from family where I live but all sorts of cultures do it in all sorts of ways. You set your own boundaries. If you feel like your dad is overstepping there are plenty of ways to go about it. Parents are naturally concerned for their kids and the world we live in pushes young people to stay at home longer and push back starting a family. That can be very concerning for parents who grew up without such socioeconomic pressures.

Typically the way I go about things with my parents (and all people in general) is I don't mention things I don't want them involved with.

Your dad’s weird af but no downside in trying it out.

I would just try to go to study the kind of woman who would listen to your dad like that? It seems weird lol. Try to befriend her

Okay young one, we have a few things to get through.

First, you should feel whatever you do feel. It's not as embarrassing to have your parents help you than you might think. You're in your early 20s, which means most of your life experience comes from when you were a child and embarrassing parents were a social death sentence. You're an adult now and to a lot of older adults stuff like that becomes insignificant compared to other things. That said if you feel embarrassed, you feel embarrassed, there is no should to feelings.

Two, I suggest you tell your Dad that you appreciate what he's trying to do, and that you'll go on the date (because I think you should). You need to tell him that doing this without keeping you in the loop made you feel uncomfortable. He's trying to help and it comes from a good place but the execution was a little off.

If he doesn't listen or it still feels wrong you have to tell him that too and ask him to stop. Still I suggest you try it out.

Third, go easy on yourself. Finding a partner is not easy, and at your age you're going to make mistakes, big ones but that's okay. That's what living is. Just make sure you don't an STI or you or someone else pregnant. Unless future you is trying to have a kid, in which case good luck!

It would upset me, but holy crap what a topic for the first half an hour of the date. Will get you right through the awkward phase!

"So, wild story, my dad set this date. Can you believe this crap? I have no idea what he put in my profile, hopefully nothing too cringe.. He wrote I love trains??? FFS you make ONE model train when you're 12, and you're a 'train girl' forever. Honestly I almost no-show, but you didn't deserve being stood up.. Anyway, wanna vent about stupid shit your parents did?"

When life gives you lemons, make lemonade.

I'd tell my dad to f off and mind his own business only to make it clear that he has no right to infere in my love life, especially to force thing on me.

I wouldn't be embarrassed. I'd be angry.

Even being set up isn't a problem- doing so without bothering to ask first is.

My mom did this. She went into the post office where a woman who I went to school with many, many years ago was now working and asked her out in front of everyone. I wasn’t there, but she told me about it and I legit felt embarrassed.

Thankfully the woman was nice about it and did go out with me on one date but politely declined a second date. She was very kind and nice and made, what I think, was the best attempt to legitimately give me a chance at a date but we just weren’t compatible to her and that’s fine.

Say that to say, it’s perfectly normal to feel embarrassed because parents asking out someone for their child (for lack of a better term as you are an adult) is weird and abnormal.

But if you’re up for it, go for it. This can be both embarrassing and a real opportunity to find someone nice. Hopefully she’s nice like my date was and can give you a real chance.

But if you don’t want to, that’s fine too. Everyone moves at their own pace and your dad needs to respect that. Regardless whether this works out for you (and her) or not or if you decide not to go, he needs to respect you moving at your own pace and making decisions when you want to move and when you don’t. And if he wants to help, he should respect you by asking you or waiting for you to ask him for help.

Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.

Look at what might happen: say you go on a date, you like each other. Maybe you end up together, maybe for just a while, maybe for a long time or you get married. Do you really care why or how you met then?

Even if the opposite happens, so you go on a date, you don't really get along or aren't each other's type. What did you lose? An afternoon or an evening? And you (probably) still get some nice conversations out of it, or just "experience" in dating. Not really a big loss either.

It's hard enough to find someone. Take any chance you can get, no matter how much of a long shot it may be. You said in some comment that he has a "wide social circle" or something like it. I would be glad he managed to use that for you in this way. If it doesn't work out, nothing of value was lost (if anything it might be embarrassing for him in his social circle, I don't know). If it does work out literally everyone just wins.

That's pretty high on the scale of toxic parenting,

Tell him that you're already with someone, and not interested

Because you can't get a girlfriend, or because this is your dad?

Embarrassed? No.

Annoyed/mad? Maybe a bit?

It does feel like its a boundary violation, and inconsiderate to both you and the woman to suprise, you and force a specifc date and time on you like that. At the same time, you didn't do anything wrong, and if the opportunity has presented itself, and you are interested in dating, its still worth it to go.

Your dad found you a date and is willing to pay for it. Like some sort of reverse-pimp. Pimpzarro.

I say go for it. I'm more of the "I hope they cancel so that I can wallow and spiral alone at home" kind of people, but I loved dating at your age. Primarily because it was an opportunity to possibly gain a friend and you might make someone's night better by just being yourself.
And if they wholly reject you as a person, you can brush it off as "dates are awkward to begin with, I'm sure I started with a disadvantage." And then learn from that. If y'all decide to be friends instead, you can ask her what parts of the date she liked and how you could improve your next date.

Everyone's talking about how the worst she can do is say no. I disagree. The worst she can do is want a second date because then you have to charge up your social battery for that. Sometimes, though, you find someone who's worth tapping into your social battery, and sometimes, it just comes naturally and you find someone who makes you feel like you can be you.

I'd feel pissed off more than anything. I don't know your situation obviously but my mother would be aggressively pushy like this and the best solution for me was to stop telling her shit about my life.

Things greatly improved when I did that.

• If you are interested in dating a girl and have not / been unable to, just take the opportunity and see how it pans out.
• if you’re not interested in girls in that capacity (sexual orientation/asexual/aromantic), that’s a whole ‘nother can of worms… but at the same time, you’ve mentioned you have essentially zero experience in the dating realm, and you’re not gonna learn these things about yourself with any level of nuance until you actually experience some stuff.

Based largely on your self-stated lack of experience, I’d say it’s a good idea to just give it a whirl and see where things go, and see how you feel about it.

Bring some pocket sand in case you have to run but otherwise you're just meeting a new person.

When i was a teen this happened to me. The date was arranged by a family friend with his nieces plus me and my friend to make it a double blind date. We decided to take the girls out to a cheap fast food place and pocket the rest of the money that was given to us. Except the girls ended up both being really cool so we agreed to go bowling after dinner. I kept in touch with one of them for a few years and we went out a few more times on our own.

Nothing to be embarrassed by imo. Sometimes we need to try new things and try to have a good time. Who knows, it may be better than you think.