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Blahaj admin defending a blatant transphobe
(lemmy.blahaj.zone)
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this post was submitted on 26 Aug 2023
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chapotraphouse
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Removing criticism of transphobia because "the evil hexbears" is fucking wild.
Placing anticommunism above transphobia on your priorities list guarantees a slide into fascism. Once you start covering up and defending bigotry as long as the bigots are anticommunists you give the perfect cover for fascists to fuck around in your space. By the time a server owner realises that they've made everyone non-fascist leave (or conform to the culture they create thus becoming part of them) they end up just accepting it because doing anything about it would mean killing the entire community population. Because the narcissistic power of being community owner comes first.
I agree with you and you're being really correct, but narcissistic is a slur. The origin of the word comes from the disability Narcissistic Personality Disorder. You're obvious talking about neurotypical behaviour, so could you use a different word?
The origin of the word actually comes from the Greek myth, and vastly predates the disorder but I'm going to assume you're just trolling.
Personality disorders are divergences from normal patterns of thought and behaviour. In plenty of cases, they are caused by physical differences in the brain.
They are definitionally neurodivergance, and become disability when the resulting behaviours impact an individual's ability to function normally in society.
Well, you said that the word narcissist is useful because it helps people identify abusive parents. Which would imply you think there's some connection between being an abuser and having NPD. So the fact that you think a mental disorder is responsible for abuse is an example of that systemic, oppressive otherization that we narcissists experience. I was told by a former friend that I don't deserve to live, because narcissists don't have a shred of humanity. Is that not oppressive otherisation to you?
I agree that it's not desirable to conflate the two in common usage, but I don't really see how that can be done while continuing to use those specific terms.
What constitutes toxic behaviour is culturally subjective. Many people in the first group would have been considered a part of the second not so long ago.
Narcissus is a Greek name. Narcissistic is an english word. The ancient greeks did not call anything narcissistic, because the word didn't exist.
The N word comes from Spanish but people who use it aren't speaking spanish, are they?
The English word "narcissistic" existed long before the diagnosis, just like "Sisyphean" exists without an attached disorder (ODD in another timeliness, maybe).
I find your claim dubious, but in any case, the N word existed in english before it became a slur too. But centuries of racial abuse made it into a slur
Why do you think the N word existed in English as anything but a slur? Narcissism and narcissistic personality disorder are not equal. I'm open to changing terminology if it's doing harm, but I think this one needs to be that the term for NPD should likely change. From what I know (and correct me if I'm wrong please), the common usage of "narcissism" has very little to do with NPD, which was coined later and seems almost derogatory in itself (in effect, grouping those with NPD along with the type of asshole commonly called narcissists)
Edit: I have been convinced that this story I was told was wrong about NPD. There doesn't seem to be a usage of narcissism outside of attempted psychological prescription before 1900 in english, and only first in 1899 in German which caused its use in English.
The common use of narcissism in the vernacular originates with Christopher Lasch's book The Culture Of Narcissism, which put forward the thesis that NPD was becoming more normalised in contemporary america. That book inspired self help guru hacks to sell books which told people that all their problems are caused by people with NPD holding them back and abusing them. People love being told that all their problems are caused by a vulnerable minority that seeks to destroy them, that's how Hitler got into power. So anyway, these books inspired the idea that everyone's abusive parents and bosses and partners are narcissists, and once that happened, more and more people started drawing on this growing linguistic awareness of the word narcissist, generally falling into one of two camps: Either they hate people with NPD and think we're all abusive, or they don't know the history of the word and just repeat it without thinking. And those two groups sound identical when they throw the word about as an insult. When I call out use of the slur, I never know which of the two groups I'm about to have an argument with. Sometimes it's both.
I'm taking you in good faith here, despite being warned that you're a possible "wrecker". I have been convinced that my post (where I tried to make clear that I could easily be wrong) was incorrect about the origins in english.
I think what we're really getting at here is a difference between some of what constitutes a psychology which is deserving of protection from incorrect associations with acute attributes found in broader populations. The R word clearly describes something which cannot be described as "traits everyone has but this person has more of it" but is instead taking a broad and incorrect category and using it to demean both the target and those who are neuro-atypical. With Narcissism, it seems that those in favor of using the word broadly are really then taking a stand that NPD exists as just an extreme of the scale of narcissism and is, therefore, to be less protected. I am unconvinced of this argument, or at least not convinced that, even if it were true, the word "narcissism" is really necessary outside of medical contexts. I think this is unpopular on hexbear based on the posts I've seen, but I'm fine with stopping using the word outside of describing possible the specific psychology.
I think an interesting thing to consider though, which doesn't discount this argument, is the social situation which leads to the commonly used terms. Anxiety was a term used broadly to describe a spectrum of anxious traits in the middle of the last century and was for the first time made primarily psychological instead of sociological. The same can be said of despression in recent years. I think that narcissism as a psychological disorder likely also has a base in liberal capitalism which has only gotten more acute, and it may be less widespread and blamed on failures of society once we move on from this terrible ideological base
Your point about anxiety reminded me of the term "hysteria". It comes from the Greek word for uterus, because old timey psychologists were deeply misogynist. Despite a lot of non-sexist use during the years in which I grew up, it's now said very rarely, and I think the sexism is a component. It's gone the way I wish "narcissism" would go.
Speaking of origins, I'm reminded of the fact that Narcissus, the original narcissist, died because he was a narcissist. He couldn't drink a sip of water right in front of his face because he was so obsessed with his self-image. When your brain works so badly that you die, I call that a mental disability. Maybe all the people saying it's not a disability because it comes from Greek should learn more Greek.
This is a simple version of the "if it affects your life" argument for defining disorders, and I think all would agree that someone so narcissistic that it would kill them have a situation which must be treated much more seriously than someone who is just self-centered in a way that makes them a successful asshole (I would place many successful businesspeople in this category). These are of course fluid, and I think describing them as self-centered and lacking empathy is fine enough to avoid utilizing a word I've been convinced is unnecessary and possibly ableist
An English word that existed long before anyone was ever diagnosed with NPD. I'm very sorry for your diagnosis but trying to make an entire existing word unusable for everyone else is kinda the definition of narcissistic also.
X to doubt on your claim there, but why does that matter? The N word and the R word existed before they were slurs too. Are you going to apply the same logic there or do you have a unique hatred for pwNPD?
You doubt that a word meaning "like Narcissus" was used to describe behaviour similar to the popular thousands of years old mythological figure, before modern psychological science used it to describe a personality disorder?
Yes. I'm also going to doubt that anybody in this thread was speaking Greek when they used the word narcissist, given that all these comments are in english.
English mugs other languages and their associated grammatical rules all the time, especially Greek and Latin, and especially especially words related to mythological figures, like Herculean, Titanic or indeed, Narcissistic.
English isn't a person, it's a language. The root word narcissism was pulled into english by people. Those people were late 19th century psychologists.