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this post was submitted on 19 Sep 2025
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Asklemmy
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I've had many many conversions where I've tried to get people to define what romance means, and so far nobody has a satisfying answer. It seems like everyone thinks it should just be obvious what is meant by that word, and can't or won't pin it down in a way that describes what's unique about that kind of love compared to other kinds of love.
The dictionary definitions are also highly circular. It's like, romance is "the desire to be in romantic relationships", and romantic relationships are "oriented towards expressions of romance" and so on.
I've started to suspect that the very fact that I'm unable to determine what romance even means is a hint that I'm probably aromantic. It's a very strange thing though.. how can I call myself a word that means "not romantic" when I don't even know what it is that I'm not?