that's not exactly what I'm asking - but it's informative that gentials come up (makes sense in the context of dating)

I tend to think of being trans as more than just gential situation in terms of dating - if the person is not passing for example, you might get stared at as a couple in public, the stigma that is directed at them might also impact you. Their life experiences- the harassment, the unemployment, etc. might impact you. For me, these even might be more important factors than their genitals.

(I tend to be able to see a female penis as female, it's usually soft and flaccid, like an oversized clit - it's not as "male" as people tend to think, which can be a disappointment for a certain subset of people who want the female penis to perform and fill the role a male penis usually does.)