I don't in any way mean to pressure you into feeling like you "should" be doing things in any particular way. If it's really outside your comfort zone, that's ok, but also, you tried to reach out to someone, and then didn't, so I feel like maybe you want that level of connection with someone. Sometimes it's easier to start trusting someone with your deeper feelings and emotions when you see that vulnerability from someone else, too. Vulnerability requires a level of trust in someone. Steer away from men who tend to degrade others, if you're choosing someone to open up to, they aren't going to have a lot of empathy and aren't going to, therefore, be in connection with their own emotions. How do you feel about your current relationships? Do you feel like there's something missing? Would you like more? I feel like there's this tough bro code where guys are socialised / made to feel like they have to uphold this mask of "man", but that's not being authentically you, so it makes it really hard to connect with your own emotions and therefore trust others with them, if you feel like you have to hide the real you, all the time.