In some ways I have, I’ve been in and out of the VA every so often for mental health, I have some friends I can confide in, but a dialectical and materialist analysis really broke me and helped me realize the nature of what it is and why we do the things we do in the military. I can’t help that I was suckered into a system so vast and evil that I can’t do a thing about, but I try to take the good from it that helped me personally grow as a human. I have a lot of PTSD from it, I still get triggered by smells and sounds, and anger issues stemming from it, but I’ve matured more so than old friends from high school (when I left for the army) due to the responsibility placed on my shoulders.

It does carry more weight when people talk about the military or politics in general because I can say things as a communist about my experiences and what things are actually like. I do use it to my advantage though, the military persona/style. People are more likely to give me an easier time, less likely to fuck with me, and for some reason the freedom loving muricans give me respect they otherwise wouldn’t, simply because I “served.” It’s selfish in a way, but at least I recognize it I guess.