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Let's stick with just the one observer from now on, then
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So the thing is, "observe" here means that you want to look at an electron to see which path it's taking. How do you "observe" it? By hurling a photon at it, at light speed, it smashes into the electron, changing its course, and then back to you.
Once you define what's actually happening, it becomes a lot less mysterious why "observation" changes the results.
Well yes, however intuitively there should be photons smashing into it even if nobody is observing it.
True -- its definitely a lot more complicated than that, and there are ways to "observe" without interacting, which still manage to collapse the superposition.
How do you observe without interacting?
Interacting in this context meaning physically manipulating the particle.
So things like the quantum eraser experiment are a good example. If you entangle the original particle with another particle, and you are able to measure that other particle (even if you don't actually do so) the waveform collapses and no interference pattern occurs.
Basically, the mere existence of information about the path the original particle takes is enough to collapse the wave function.
None of which is remotely intuitive and hurts a little bit to think about.
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