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Selfhosted
A place to share alternatives to popular online services that can be self-hosted without giving up privacy or locking you into a service you don't control.
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HA integrated with homekit well. I like to tinker, but hate doing interface/dashboard work. I did find an auto dashboard for HA which has made our lives easier. My long term hope is to use a voice assisstant for the rest.
Since it sounds like youre handy already, i would really dig into the dashboard side since that will dictate how easy it is for your family to use.