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Lol! My wife and I have actually been to Paris before and liked it a lot, but we stayed away from the regular tourist stuff and stuck to the weirder, off-the-beaten-path things you can do in Paris (the catacombs, poking around Roman ruins, etc).
We're actually considering Versailles because we've heard it's like being in a more relaxed and easy-going Paris, and the gardens appeal to my wife - as in, she's thiiiiiiis close to simply insisting on it.
But neither of us had considered Lyon or Bordeaux, and I'll add them to my list. What are they like?
Versailles is horribly crowded in the summer but lovely at other times.
Lyon is very cosmopolitan for shopping etc, loads of wee independent clothes shops and nowhere near as many tourist traps as Paris. If you like Roman stuff, Lyon is bursting at the seams with it. It's also very close to the Alps so day trips to the mountains are only an hour or two by car
Bordeaux used to be a bit run down twenty years ago, but got their act together. Fantastic gastronomy, really laid back atmosphere, lovely little streets to wander around. Plus Saint Émilion, who claim to have the best red wine in France. (I disagree and nominate Chateauneuf du Pape for that) You can also day trip to Arcachon, a huuuuge beach on the Atlantic coast
France is massive, the size of Texas but without the empty spaces, and there are literally thousands of better options than Paris!
Merci beaucoup pour les recommandations complètes.
Avoiding tourist traps in favor of actual fun and fulfilling things to do is one of our major goals. I'll look more closely at Lyon and Bordeaux (and other parts of France, too). You've helped me make a more informed choice, and I appreciate it.