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"Hey this guy is too happy, go stab him"
(hexbear.net)
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this post was submitted on 03 Jan 2026
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Chapotraphouse
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Wait, what do you have to drain to cure the depression?
Depression is caused by an excess of melancholic (literally "black bile," with the same "melan" in "melanin") humor, which was said to come from the spleen. The joke was that you stab someone in the spleen to make them less depressed, but I think technically the idea was that the secretion gets into the rest of your system.
CW maybe-tastelessly-morbid depression joke
Also, black bile is unique among the humors in not corresponding to any clear, specific substance (the others being blood, yellow bile, and phlegm/saliva), so I invite the reader to decide if that means that depression isn't real and it's all your fault, or on the other hand depression is something so hopelessly endemic to you that it's not some specific part of you that you can be separated from, but instead what every part of you inexorably dissolves into. Maybe it's somehow both!Disclaimer: I am not a humorist
It was a good joke! I was just hoping getting stabbed could cure my depression
No, I meant the leeches-in-jars type of humorism, though I guess I'm not the NPR panelist kind of humorist either. (But I appreciate the positive sentiment
)
It used to be a joke that humorists aren't funny because a funny humorist is called a "comedian," but I feel like between the SNL/Daily Show/Last Week Tonight programs and the rightwing "CANCELLED" netflix specials, comedians mostly aren't funny either.
You can always make some leeches happy tho ^_^