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this post was submitted on 26 Jan 2026
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Asklemmy
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(EDIT: I didn't look closely enough, so I didn't notice that I was replying to someone else and not OP. Oops. I'll wait for OP to reply. Comments withdrawn.)
Believe it or not, some people are truly selfless sometimes.
Nahh, it's nothing that noble lol
I have tons of time now, and wouldn't lose anything by making her life better
Sigh.
Can you imagine a universe in which asking the questions I asked is in fact a way of gathering more information with the goal of helping, instead of indirectly criticizing OP and doubting the sincerity of their intentions?
What if I thought this might be a common reaction, then brought that into the open in the middle of my questions? Would that help?
Their motivation can be as simple as "I want to".
I'm not really sure what you're hoping to achieve with this line of questioning?
That's intent, not motivation. People usually have a reason for wanting to do something.
I know what it can be, but I don't know what it is. When I know more, I can offer more helpful advice.
For example, if their motivation really is as simple as "I want to", then quite frankly, their relative has no obligation to give OP what they want by letting OP help. And trying to force that on their relative seems risky and invites failure. This is known as "inflicting help" and is a very common source of friction in relationships.
That's why I'm asking.
I'm not OP, I just read the post.
I did not notice that, so that's my mistake. Sorry.