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i think im autistic
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this post was submitted on 20 Feb 2026
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neurodiverse
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What is Neurodivergence?
It's ADHD, Autism, OCD, schizophrenia, anxiety, depression, bi-polar, aspd, etc etc etc etc
“neurologically atypical patterns of thought or behavior”
So, it’s very broad, if you feel like it describes you then it does as far as we're concerned
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I think you have to frame the way youre think about it differently. 🤔
It sounds like you’re thinking of this as having a need (like alone time or a different way to verbalize conflict) that you feel you have to prove is valid. It seems like the way you intend to prove it is by applying the autism label to yourself. Which, by the way, sounds right to me, but I don’t have a master’s in psychology. 🤷
All that to say, you’re a step removed from the real issue. Your need is valid. Just because it’s atypical doesn’t mean it should need to be "proved." I would hope that you and your wife are close enough that you can tell her what your needs are directly and be believed. I’d do that and ask her why it bothers her, and how that may be stopping her from getting her own needs met.
In other words, reframe it from "making a case" for why she should respect your needs to simply expressing your needs, asking for hers, and working together to meet both. You get what I’m saying? I had to do a similar reframing when I first moved in with my partner.
Also, you mentioned thinking your wife is sad, but she says she’s not. If you’re misjudging that, it fits with autism. 🤷 If she says she’s not mad, it’s not on you to decipher if she’s lying. Trust her; if she is lying, that’s her issue, to be honest.
Curious what happened with the laundry stuff?
thanks for answering buddy <3
you're right, i find it especially hard to express boundary and stuff especially because she doesn't seem to understand why i'm like that. It leads to a whole of of misunderstanding and if there's the slightest conflict i freak out.
I mean thats not the whole story ofc i love my wife there's a lot of goodies. And the thought even occured to me that maybe she's autistic too, i mean we were both kindof ermits and she sometime freaks out about little stuff. And she have trauma too, she's a real revolutionary. Plus she's from another background as well, situation's not easy, but most of the time we make it work. Just found a new job and they should hopefully give her documents at some point. She have waited for years for her phd.
She got mad at me for mixing up the dirty and clean laundry. But i dont think i did. Later she agreed she overreacted. but still that destroyed my week-end.