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When women have a crush on men
(lemmus.org)
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this post was submitted on 08 Mar 2026
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You're kinda down to the dregs when you get to your thirties, the nice ones have all paired up by that point.
I'm in my 30s and I don't feel that way at all. Yeah, there's lots of shitty people or ones I don't vibe with but that's been the case my whole life. Many of the ones that I'd have considered a poor match in my early 20s have matured since then into much more likable people. If you're using dating apps though, you are probably going to get more exposure to the dregs. One of many reasons I don't touch those. You can still meet people the old fashioned way by going out and doing things. You may not find someone as quickly but you're not getting constant negativity thrown in your face.
dating in my early 30s was great. once i got past 35 thought, it all went to shit. 9/10 dates i meet now give me this long premable about how their exes all sucked and i better be better than them. it's insane. like they will approach me at a bar/event and just start ranting at me, and think it's cute or 'flirting' because they are issuing me a challenge I have to overcome to prove my worth to them.
and the 1/10 one that doesn't... has never dated and has basically no adult life experience. i did go out with a nice lady last month... but she was had zero real life experience and I'm not interested in that either. she had been living at home until she was 35 and just starting her adult life like she was 22.
every normal, happy, well adjust woman I meet is already married. that includes all my female friends over the years. the funny part is they are so chill you don't even know they are married because they don't really talk about their SO at all... because they are their own person and don't have a partner who defines them and from which they derive their worth and self esteem... and if you flirt with them they just point it out and it's no big deal.
before i was 35 i used to meet normal people who actually wanted to date normally. but the culture has changed it's much more hostile and aggressive than it was even 5 years ago. even when I see other people on dates when I am out... often it's weird and hostile interaction and it's rarely relaxed. I miss going out with people who were relaxed and chill and who had passions and interests, instead of relentlessly trying to judge every aspect of me and then think they are above all judgement in their quest to acquire a fantasy romance novel of a relationship.
i blame all these gender toxic media shit. i grew up with the idea men and women were the same and our differences were funny and not a big deal. now people act everyone of the opposite sex is the enemy until prove otherwise by subordinating themselves to their 'tests' and 'checklists'. It's like people are looking for someone to hate more than someone to love, and absolutely no interest in a mutual understanding. but when i see videos of the shit that goes on on tiktok and instagram and all that... holy moly the 'advice' people give is just insanely toxic shit.
Many will have married already, so choices when I was in my 30's tended to be:
I wouldn't say it's the dregs. Just that one's choices have changed a lot from "the one a couple houses/lockers down from you".